Friday, November 13, 2009
CHRISTMAS IS STILL ONE DAY A YEAR, RIGHT?
To anyone who starts thinking about Christmas around this time each year: You do know it's still November, right? Christmas is not a season. It is a day. One day. We haven't had Thanksgiving yet, and some of you have been "preparing" for Christmas for weeks. You've got your lights up, right? You're already planning to cut down that tree, right? Many of you have already bought Christmas presents, right? You're just a wee bit ahead of schedule, in case you weren't aware. Well, not to big business, though. While you're doing all your shopping, be sure to congratulate all the retail stores out there: They've gotten you to do a lot of shopping over a long period of time.
Not only have people been brainwashed into thinking the Christmas season extends back to the middle of autumn, but sometimes into SUMMER, which ends in the last third of September, which is when some of you start going into "Christmas is just around the corner" mode. Of course, you've forgotten how late summer goes, because you've been told in advertisments and on the news, and maybe by people you know, that Labor Day means that "summer is officially over" (which is a LIE; the official end of summer, in our part of the world anyway, is either September 21 or 22). Which in turn leads some of you to obey those ads running in July that tell you to pay merchants a visit because it's time for "back-to-school shopping" and so on and so forth.
Doesn't anybody ever live in the PRESENT anymore? Why is everyone so in a rush to get to the next thing that's coming up? Each of the seasons we have on Earth is beautiful in its own way. So why not just cool it for a while and enjoy what we have going right now? Even though rain doesn't make it easy to keep your hair perfectly coiffed for work, there's still something wondrous to be found in a storm. And there's a gorgeous palette of oranges and reds out there to be enjoyed too. We'll get to the white snow in a little bit, okay?
When was the last time you found yourself whistling the tune of "Winter Wonderland" in February? Here's my guess, and I know I'm right: You've never done that, even though the beginning of February occurs smack dab in the middle of winter. Did you think about that? Christmas, you might have forgotten, occurs exactly four days into winter. In November, and maybe even October, you were singing about the snowman that you named Parson Brown and pretended was marrying you and your sweetheart, but once Christmas had come and gone, you stopped thinking about that song, didn't you? All through fall the song called "Winter Wonderland" was on your mind. Once winter actually started, you ditched it. Why?
Probably because you think it's a Christmas song. Guess what: It's not. There is no mention at all of anything associated with Christmas in that song. Here's something else for you: "Jingle Bells" doesn't mention anything that has to do with Christmas either. Neither does "Frosty The Snowman." Or "Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!" These are all songs about things going on in winter, but some of you were actually thinking about these tunes during the summer! Let the Australians do their Christmas caroling in the summer. After all, for them, that's when Christmas actually happens.
One thing I'm really excited about: The lack of Valentine's Day songs. I'd hate to have to start hearing those on December 26.
Not only have people been brainwashed into thinking the Christmas season extends back to the middle of autumn, but sometimes into SUMMER, which ends in the last third of September, which is when some of you start going into "Christmas is just around the corner" mode. Of course, you've forgotten how late summer goes, because you've been told in advertisments and on the news, and maybe by people you know, that Labor Day means that "summer is officially over" (which is a LIE; the official end of summer, in our part of the world anyway, is either September 21 or 22). Which in turn leads some of you to obey those ads running in July that tell you to pay merchants a visit because it's time for "back-to-school shopping" and so on and so forth.
Doesn't anybody ever live in the PRESENT anymore? Why is everyone so in a rush to get to the next thing that's coming up? Each of the seasons we have on Earth is beautiful in its own way. So why not just cool it for a while and enjoy what we have going right now? Even though rain doesn't make it easy to keep your hair perfectly coiffed for work, there's still something wondrous to be found in a storm. And there's a gorgeous palette of oranges and reds out there to be enjoyed too. We'll get to the white snow in a little bit, okay?
When was the last time you found yourself whistling the tune of "Winter Wonderland" in February? Here's my guess, and I know I'm right: You've never done that, even though the beginning of February occurs smack dab in the middle of winter. Did you think about that? Christmas, you might have forgotten, occurs exactly four days into winter. In November, and maybe even October, you were singing about the snowman that you named Parson Brown and pretended was marrying you and your sweetheart, but once Christmas had come and gone, you stopped thinking about that song, didn't you? All through fall the song called "Winter Wonderland" was on your mind. Once winter actually started, you ditched it. Why?
Probably because you think it's a Christmas song. Guess what: It's not. There is no mention at all of anything associated with Christmas in that song. Here's something else for you: "Jingle Bells" doesn't mention anything that has to do with Christmas either. Neither does "Frosty The Snowman." Or "Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!" These are all songs about things going on in winter, but some of you were actually thinking about these tunes during the summer! Let the Australians do their Christmas caroling in the summer. After all, for them, that's when Christmas actually happens.
One thing I'm really excited about: The lack of Valentine's Day songs. I'd hate to have to start hearing those on December 26.
