E.K. NATION

This week's theme on the world's biggest karaoke contest was "The Rat Pack." And who did they bring in as the mentor for the week? Jamie Foxx. ANd who am I bringing up from the basement? E.K. Nation's Senior American Idol Correspondent "Smooth". What up, dawg.

Smooth: Jamie Foxx really makes me think "Rat Pack". Also, Tony Danza makes me think "Cirque du Soleil". Foxx actually seemed to give good advice, though. All right, let's start with Kris, who did "The Way You Look Tonight", and who was excellent. The crooner theme calls for a very pure, clean tone, and that's exactly what Kris brought to the table. The first half of the arrangement was a very nice, mostly straightforward rendition. The second half was more uptempo and Kris playe around with the melody slightly in a few spots to keep it interesting. The only minor quibble I had was that his falsetto, while on key, sounded a bit weak. Simon called it "wet"; perhaps he's referring to Kris' female fans? Hello, vicar!

E.K. Hey, hey, hey, family blog here.

Smooth: Yeah, not really. Anyway, I think Simon meant that it was safe and verging on boring, which... kind of, but it was so well done that I think it was entertaining.

E.K. In explaining what he meant by "wet", Simon said, "Not dry," so he pretty much surrounded that one. I still don't know what that meant. But I do know that Kris pretty much nailed this song, except for, as you noted, the falsetto, which I didn't think worked at all, either as a style of Kris' own or as an element of a performance of a standard. Imagine Sinatra doing falsetto. See, you can't do it. I did not feel he was going to wind up in the bottom 3, but of course we know now that he did.

Smooth: Allison is kind of a black hole of personality in her interviews, isn't she? Nerves, perhaps.

E.K. Or maybe because she's 17.

Smooth: The arrangement of "Someone To Watch Over Me" had some similarities to the one Kris did in that it sped up halfway through and gave her a chance to show off her pipes. She sounded very good, but Allison's voice is naturally a bit hoarse. It's a rock voice, and it doesn't fit the theme very well. In addition, she appears to be the contestant least familiar with the source material (unsurprising, considering her age). The main problem is that she's simply the least charismatic singer left right now. She can really sing, but she can't win this competition.

E.K. I thought she was excellent here. I'm not so sure I was reminded too much of her raspy-rock-style voice; I think she made a nice adjustment to her voice to make it fit in to the style of the song. I'm glad the voters recognize that she is so much better than Lil, or Scott. I can't think of a 16-year-old, or I guess just-turned-17-year-old, singer on this show who has been better than Allison. Paris, maybe, from a few years back? She doesn't need to be much of a star during the interviews, 'cause chick can sing. Maybe she won't win, but...maybe she will. I'm still thinking Adam is going to win, but it would not surprise me at all to see Allison in the finals. And by the way, how many people has Paula said "See ya in the finals" to? Five? Does she know that the finale will be contested between two people? Has she done this show before?

Smooth: Foxx counseled Matt to hold notes longer instead of riffing constantly. He did seem to try to hold back in a few places, but in some parts of the song, he just couldn't help himself. The crazy runs just sounded way out of place in this genre. Also, Matt's performance was a bit cheesy; I think he does really try to get into the Rat Pack feel, but that led to him overperforming the song, especially in the first half of it. He altered his tone and phrasing; combined with the hat, it's like he's in a musical or something. Oddly, Simon loves it and calls it "believable" and "authentic". I usually agree with Simon, but in this case I definitely cannot.

E.K. I can't either. Simon was a weird case this week, loving the mediocre performance and expressing disappointment in the other four strong performances. I don't think Matt was awful by any means but there were a few minor pitch problems in there that immediately put him in the bottom 3. Maybe he should have tried the piano; he usually seems the most comfortable there. Next up was Danny, who started off his song doing the same thing he's been doing for weeks now, namely singing well but showing little charisma. However, the song picked up tempo and out came the outgoing, energetic Danny he's been needing to be for a long time. He blew this one out of the box. A very nice, dynamic performance.

Smooth: I also thought this was definitely his best performance in recent weeks. He, too, has a slight rock edge to his voice, but his song choice is much better than Allison's. The bluesy arrangement and big finish to the song complemented his vocals well. He really got into it at the end and did some nice runs, staying on pitch as usual. It's a good theme for him and he did well with it. The only bad thing I can say is that during the judges critiques he often stands
there with a Muppet-like half-grin on his face that reminds me of (shudder) David Archuleta.

E.K. I'm still not convinced Archuleta is not an actual Muppet.

Smooth: As for Adam, forget what I said about Matt acting like he's in a musical. Adam essentially performed a musical, complete with dramatic entrance, backlighting, and a white suit. It's almost pointless to comment on his vocals at this point, although this wasn't his best by a long shot. He's become a Taylor or Clay-like figure in the competition: clearly talented, but with a style that makes him massively polarizing. Ninety percent of people already have cemented their opinion of him, no matter what he does from now on. The question is whether his fan base will carry him to the end, and whether an anti-Adam backlash could actually send votes to Danny (or possibly Kris) in the finals. Wait, did Kara just call him "sleazy"??

E.K. Yes, she did. And I think she meant it as a compliment. However that works. Anyway, Adam was his usual stellar self and I still would never buy his CD. I don't think the yelling at the end fit the song at all, but he's definitely in his groove, not jolting our eardrums with the misfires he had early in the top 13. I'm not too surprised he landed in the bottom 3, because most people do at least once when they get this far, and he certainly is the polarizing type. I still think he's the favorite because of his uniqueness and I'm thinking most people will say he's the most memorable.

Smooth: I thought the bottom two would be Matt and Allison and that she would be the one to leave. Allison was better, but I think she was also more boring. Boring is the kiss of death on this show.

E.K. I too thought it might have been Allison, simply because Matt might have more of the young female voters in his pocket, and that's a huge chunk of the Idol demographic. I'll say right now that this is the second-most talented Final Four they've had on Idol, after 2006 when they had Daughtry, Elliott, Katharine and Taylor. Next week, rock and roll!

Sorry about that, folks. I know you guys were all putting your lives on hold waiting for us to offer our reviews of American Idol. The last few weeks have been rather busy, but then again we also had a stretch of three weeks last year where we gave you nothing and you survived, so I'm assuming you're all alive and not dead. Anyway, let's bring E.K. Nation's Senior American Idol Correspondent "Smooth" out from the basement to get things started again. Smooth?

Smooth: Why, thanks. You know, you could send down a pizza every once in a while. Bread and water is, uh, a little boring.

E.K.: Ha, ha, ha, he chuckled nervously. That is a distortion of the truth, everyone. As you may or may not know, Smooth has been given vitamin supplements to go along with his G2 and his San Francisco sourdough bread made with a 110-year-old starter, so he's actually living high on the hog.

Smooth: We're going to run through the last two weeks of performances. But let me say this first: Why did the judges use the "save" on Matt last week? I like him, but as Simon pointed out he has no chance to win. I think the producers just decided beforehand that it would be used at some point, and Matt is probably better than Lil, so... what the hell. I still kinda wish they had used it on Alexis; I thought she deserved to stay longer than she did. I think I know who you wish they used it on.

E.K.: Well, you're thinking Megan Joy, and sure, it would have been nice to see her for one more week before she got the boot anyway, but the real singer I wish had gotten the save was Michael Johns. Of course they didn't have the save rule last year, and that sucks because his dismissal was the worst voting result the competition has ever suffered.

Smooth: So, last week, we had "Songs From The Movies," and Allison Iraheta was up first with one of my most hated songs, "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing". Massive cliche of a song choice. Most of it's low in her register - not out of her range, just at the bottom of it - and there wasn't really much room for any improvisation or for her to show off her power. The arrangement started out interesting with only some quiet, staccato strings, but quickly falls into a straightforward version. It was fine, but it's pretty boring. Allison's natural rock edge in her voice makes everything she sings a little more interesting, but even that isn't going to save her here. Not at all her best.

E.K.: I totally agree that this is a ridiculous cliche of a choice, but I was expecting more from Allison. She's been able to blow out some of these rock songs she's been doing, but this one really was unspectacular. I was surprised to hear Simon say she could make the finals and that she is the girls' last hope for a winner this year. I, for one, know that neither one of the girls will win it.

Smooth: And then last night for Disco Night, was she wearing a bedazzled leather catsuit? No wait, there's a skirt that looks like there's an apron involved, and giant heels. This was kind of a weird performance. Slowing down the rock tempo of Donna Summer's "Hot Stuff" kind of sapped the energy a little bit, and Allison kind of stalked around the stage weirdly and seemed almost disinterested at times. The vocal was excellent. The judges like it more than I did; she's still just not showing enough personality to inspire voters, in my opinion.

E.K.: It was indeed a pretty silly arrangement. I wouldn't have even expected the slowed-down pace if it were Alison Overmyer singing. And I was wondering, if it's Disco Week, why don't they make everyone stick to a disco tempo? And the outfit was weird; it looked like a 16-year-old girl was trying to be a cougar. But I agree that the vocals were great and that she's close to running out of time on the show. I like her a lot, though; she's a trooper. And her initials are A.I. -- how's that for an American Idol finalist?

Smooth: Last week, Anoop Desai picked "(Everything I Do) I Do It for You", which is, again, a hugely-overplayed song that really has little to do with the movie it's in. Anoop did his normal thing; the vocal is good, but the performance wasn't anything great, so it was pretty karaoke. Another boring performance. Last night, he wrapped up the show by starting out with a ballad version similar to Adam's, this time of Donna Summer's "Dim All The Lights". He sounded good, but he fell into the trap of actually doing a song with a disco beat during disco week. Dumbass!! Anoop really does have a great tone to his voice and put on another solid vocal performance. Kara points out that it was a good song choice since even in the uptempo part, it's sort of a ballad vocal with glory notes in there which are Anoop's forte. He blows the final note which is never good, but I think he'll be OK.

E.K.: Anoop's vocals on both of these songs were great, but yet again, the performances just weren't all that memorable. Last night, he wore pink, about which Paula said, "Real men know how to wear pink", which once and for all, if we didn't know already, proves that Paula Abdul is batshit insane. So, we're going to veer away from Anoop to talk about Paula for a second, and I know you have something to say there.

Smooth: Paula is completely extraneous to this show at this point. Her crazy was amusing three or four seasons ago, but she offers absolutely nothing at this point.

E.K.: Precisely. I am actually at the point where I cringe when she's in the middle of critiquing somebody's performance and then she suddenly starts badgering Simon and can't let any comment go. Not only are her bickering and her antics childish and unprofessional, they're also insulting to the singer who is standing there patiently on the stage waiting for some feedback. I really hope that Kara was brought on as a transition to a Paula-free Idol. Okay, enough about Fruitbat Abdul.

Smooth: I am now also getting pretty sick of Adam Lambert, who is doing "Born to Be Wild". Of course, it would be much easier to dismiss him (along with his awful hair/clothes/makeup/performance/screeching) if he wasn't always on key, damn him. The performance was typically over the top and ridiculous with lots of stomping and head banging. It kills me that he is capable of sounding so good when he dials it back but instead chooses to become a wailing banshee that haunts my ears. I don't really think of this as a "movie song" either, but at least it's a bit more unexpected than the first two choices.

E.K.: I was not even aware that "Born To Be Wild" was from a movie. In a movie, maybe, but was it written specifically for Easy Rider? At this point it became apparent that "Songs From The Movies" is an insanely huge category. To wit: There was a Lindsey Buckingham song playing on the bum's radio when Marty's time machine whizzes by him near the end of Back To The Future; could that song qualify to be sung here?

Smooth: And then last night Adam did another take similar to his "Mad World" ripoff of Gary Jules. I do prefer his stripped-down ballads when the alternative is over-the-top ridiculousness. Once again his vocal control is impeccable, and the only thing I don't like about the vocal is the usual screeching falsetto, which was thankfully minimal here. He certainly goes out of his way to look anguished while singing, and it's too much for me, but many voters will lap it up.

E.K.: I thought his version of "If I Can't Have You" was brilliant, actually. Damn him. I thought he brought the right amount of emotion to that song, which when you hear it in its original disco format kind of doesn't really have any emotion at all. I was also going to use the word "impeccable" to describe his vocals, but you already did, and I guess I just did, so there. I am gaining an appreciation for his talents and his unique versions of songs, and I'll make this proclamation right now: He will win, and he will deserve it.

Smooth: Matt Giraud is not long for this competition. He's doing "Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman"... sigh. Is there a list of like 15 songs they use to do Movie Night every year?

E.K.: Yes. Yes, there is.

Smooth: Anyway, Matt did his thing at the piano. He's one of the more inconsistent competitors this year and this was closer to being in the "good" column than than the "bad". He put an R&B spin on the song; a few of his runs were impressive, but as the judges noted he went overboard with it at times. Matt is talented, but he doesn't have the charisma to stay in the game.

E.K.: I think if he weren't skilled at the piano he'd be gone by now. I agree that he has been so up and down, but more often than not now he's down. I thought it was okay, but then again, we're looking for memorable, not okay. Dare I say: He is no Adam Lambert.

Smooth: And then last night he gave a pretty entertaining performance, going right after the Timberlake vibe. Dude does have some soul, and his dancing is certainly better than Gokey's. It's a decent vocal, but he does appear to be trying too hard, throwing in runs and falsetto where they don't necessarily fit, and injecting "woo!"s in a rather non-organic fashion. Nothing has changed from last week; Matt is still a talented guy, he's just not going to win this thing.

E.K.: I, on the other hand, was completely nonplussed by this performance. You simply can not do a Bee Gees song without trying to make it your own and make everyone forget about the falsetto voices the Gibbs used. And he completely failed last night. I know he probably couldn't resist the impulse to use a song called "Stayin' Alive" the week after the judges saved him, but that was so wrong a choice. And as good as Matt can be, we already have a Timberlake. His name is Justin Timberlake. And he's better than Matt Giraud.

Smooth: Danny Gokey sings karaoke staple "Endless Love". Given the harp-driven but mostly standard arrangement, it sho' nuf sounded like karaoke, albeit well-done karaoke. At least it was not a duet. He got a little yelly at times but his control is excellent. Danny sounds great pretty much every week but his song choices at times are very uninspired. He'll undoubtedly be fine until the top 3 at least, but I'd like to see something more from him.

E.K.: Yeah, I had Danny as the favorite going into the final round, but now that Adam is clearly the front-runner Danny is going to have to majorly step up his game. He's a great singer, but here we go with the whole "unmemorable" line again. I suppose I give him credit for trying to win without having the "my wife died recently" thing shoved down our throats.

Smooth: And then last night doing "September" by Earth, Wind & Fire, he was pretty damn cheesy, really. I knew it would be as soon as I heard the song choice. Danny white-boy dances around the stage as I cringed. He puts a few of his own vocal spins on it, but overall it still comes off as karaoke. Of course, his vocals are spot on as usual which is the only thing keeping the whole thing from being totally awful. I do think we'll see Danny in the finals but his stage presence and song choices still need work.

E.K.: I agree with everything you said about Danny last night, except for song choice, and not for the way he sang it, but, dude, because the very first line in the song mentions our birthday! I will never be upset or worried about hearing this song ever. Do you remembah...?

Smooth: Wait for it...

The twenty-first night of Septembah!

Smooth: Moving on, disco boy. For Movie Song Night, Kris Allen did "Falling Slowly" from Once. E.K., you are a fan of this song if I recall correctly so I think you were probably pleased with his choice; it wasn't a lame cliche, it was actually a song integral to a movie.

E.K.: Not only am I a fan of this song (and of the movie, which was the best movie of 2007), but like you said it was the only song sung this past week that actually played a part in the story of a film. It's the first song the two musicians play together at the start of their friendship; it wasn't just a song they put over the closing credits like the ridiculous "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)" thing from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Seriously, when does that story take place, the 1400's? And they put a pop ballad on there? Sheezus. Anyhoo (which is a word I never say), that's why I liked Kris' song choice more than anything. And also 'cause it's an awesome song.

Smooth: As I was listening to it I actually felt like it was a relevant performance, something that Kris could actually put on an album today. The downside of this is that may AI viewers will have no idea what this song is, which does not always bode well in terms of votes. Randy called it "pitchy", which baffles me. I thought he sang it really well; it was a tad low for him at first, and there were a few very minor things about his phrasing that I didn't like, but overall I thought he was on pitch. For me he sounded great and performed it very well, but I will definitely be curious to see how the voters responded to this.

E.K.: It was my favorite performance of the night, if you don't count my marveling at Adam for the stones it takes to do what he's doing. He sounded great, and you're right, it would be a reasonable selection for an album. As for AI viewers being less likely to vote for a song they've never heard: You're probably dead-on with that observation, and surely it is a bit of a risk to do a song that not a lot of people are familiar with, but really, how lame is that? Memo to voters: You can like a song the first time you hear it, people.

Smooth: And last night was another good performance from him, although I wouldn't call it anything special. I liked that the guitar actually seemed more integral to his version of "She Works Hard For The Money this time compared to others. It was a unique interpretation of the song and his vocals were typically solid. Of course, the judges love any non-disco interpretation of a disco song. Why do they even have these theme weeks?

E.K.: And again, it was my favorite performance of the night. Kris is really good at all the things he's doing right now. I loved the arrangement, the somewhat Tex-Mex-y feel of the song (I was going to say "Santana-like" but Paula mentioned that and I really would like to distance myself), and his vocals were clean and pure. Great stuff. I think this guy might get to be the one to lose to Adam in the finals.

Smooth: Lil Rounds was in the final spot so you know the producers think she'll do well. She sang "The Rose", starting with the standard arrangement, and then she gospeled it up halfway through. It was more entertaining than most of Lil's performances lately. She sounded okay, but I actually think she got pretty pitchy when she started going on runs in the gospel section. Simon pointed out that it still has no edge to it, which Lil vehemently denied. Simon was right, of course, but in this competition pandering to the voters often works quite well, and I think Lil's performance accomplished that effectively.

E.K.: I thought she sucked.

(long pause)

Smooth: That's it?

E.K.: I'll get to it. Please, continue.

Smooth: Okay, well, for me this week, Lil was much worse than last week. A very boring, copycat performance, and to top it all off her vocals weren't very good (Paula claims she's had some throat problems or something). She's off key at times and runs out of breath at others since it's such a big song. I feel a little bad for Lil since she is getting criticized so much, but she just doesn't know what she's doing up there. She is picking the wrong songs and she just has no direction as an artist. Still, even though she didn't do a great job, I do think she is showing more personality than some of the other contestants. As we know, this can sometimes keep a person safe no matter how horrible they are.

E.K.: I thought she sucked.

(long pause)

Smooth: Okay, you can elaborate, y'know?

(takes deep breath) I'm just so goddamn pissed off that we've had to sit through weeks of Lil's crappy performances. Look, Megan Joy was not the best singer in the world, but at least she was adorable and unique in her floundering and foundering, and she was never boring or routine, at least for me. I guess that's where I'm heading with this. And it's not just Megan Joy: Alexis, and even Jorge to a certain extent, got jobbed when considering how far Lil has gone. They were all themselves, and they knew what they were doing, and they were never fake. Lil's just a wannabe copycat wedding singer. I thought she had talent during the audition weeks, but I'm wondering where the hell did it all go? And it's not just that she's trying to be other artists and not being herself: She just flat can't sing right now! She's off-pitch and she's doing hackneyed songs. "I'm Every Woman"? First of all, Mandisa tore that song up a few years ago and Lil is no Mandisa. She's not even half of Mandisa (figuratively and literally.) She's a poor man's Asia'h Epperson.

Smooth: Wow!

E.K.: And that song choice to begin with: I mean, Chaka Khan is a very respected artist in the industry but if I hear that song one more time I'm going to pull my own arms off, beat myself to death with them, and then put the right arm back where the left one was and the left arm back where the right one was. She is a complete bust. She is the Tony Mandarich of American Idol. Bring back Michael Johns. Bring back Carly. Hell, I'd be happy if they brought Sanjaya back to take her place. And the reason she gets criticized so much is that she sucks. I'm sure she's a great human being and I'm sure she's a great friend, but she is boring me to tears every week and she does not deserve to be on the show anymore. It's pathetic watching her tell us how good she thought she was and that the judges are off-base. Because they're not. American Idol winners do not have to defend themselves when the judges tear them down. Because the judges don't tear those people down, because those people are awesome. And I don't care how much fun you claim you're having on stage, Lil; isn't it also important that I, the potential voter, have fun while watching you? (gets down off the soapbox)

Smooth: Apropos of nothing, I think Lil should marry Lol Creme, so they could send out Christmas cards from Lol 'n' Lil Creme.

E.K.: I think Megan Joy should marry me so that I can be married to Megan Joy. Anyway, I'm not sure how they're going to conduct the whole "Let's see who's in the Bottom 3" business tonight, since two of them will be gone due to the judges' save of Matt last week. Here's how I would organize it based on my predictions for the vote: First, they will tell Lil that she is safe.

Smooth: Umm, what? But you just said--

E.K.: I know. But I don't think America is as remotely bothered by Lil's performances as I am.

Smooth: (twiddles non-existent handlebar moustache) Interesting!

E.K.: Then they will divide the remaining six into two groups: Danny, Kris and Matt in one group, and the three A's -- Adam, Allison and Anoop -- in the other. After the Ford commercial starring your Top 7, Adam and Danny will be told they are safe. Later on, Ryan will tell Allison that she is in the bottom 2, sending Anoop back to the couch and Allison to the stage to sing "Hot Stuff" once more before leaving the show. Then, Ryan will approach Kris and Matt and he will tell Matt, "Last week, the judges saved you. This week, the voters...did not." And Matt will sing one last time, ironically, "Stayin' Alive."

Smooth: I refuse to be that elaborate in my details. Matt, Lil and Allison will be in the bottom 3, and I think Matt is gone fo' sheezy, and after that it's a tough call but I'll go with Allison.

E.K.: Fair enough. So we have the same two people leaving. Also, we both think Lil is safe. You are not bothered by this as much as I am.

Smooth: No, sir.

E.K.: We shall see tonight. Go Blazers!

Smooth: I second the notion that Go Blazers! is the correct attitude.

E.K.: Megan Joy, will you marry me?

Smooth: Oh, don't.

I don't talk much about hockey on this site, for a couple reasons. One, my team, the Avalanche, sucks. Only two teams had fewer points this season. And two, I really don't know much about hockey, turthfully. ESPN lost its contract with the NHL a couple years ago and games are not as available on cable as they used to be. There are probably a dozen teams in the NHL that I can not identify one player on these days. But the hockey playoffs are still awesome, and I'll be into them over the next couple of months until the champion is crowned. So without further ado, I present to you, my Incredibly Uninformed NHL Playoff Predictions:

Eastern Conference: In the first round, the series winners will be #1 Boston over #8 Montreal, #2 Washington defeating #7 N.Y. Rangers, #6 Carolina upsetting #3 New Jersey, and #4 Pittsburgh outlasting #5 Philadelphia. In the second round, Boston will defeat Carolina and Washington will beat Pittsburgh. And in the East final, Washington will take down Boston.

Western Conference: The first round series will result as follows: #1 San Jose will beat #8 Anaheim, #2 Detroit dispatching #7 Columbus, #6 St. Louis with the upset over #3 Vancouver, and #5 Calgary getting by #4 Chicago. San Jose will then defeat St. Louis in the second round, and Calgary will upset Detroit. In the West championship, we will see San Jose advance to its first Stanley Cup Finals by beating Calgary.

Stanley Cup Final: It's going to be the San Jose Sharks beating the Washington Capitals. Keep in mind that I know almost nothing about hockey.

Running Up The Score?: Some people are upset with the Denver Nuggets' J.R. Smith, who fired up seven three-point attempts in the final few minutes of the fourth quarter last night with his team leading the Sacramento Kings by a bunch.

I say, come on. NBA teams have 24 seconds to shoot or they turn the ball over. The rules say the players have to shoot! What do you want them to do? This is the NBA. Ticket prices are not cheap. People want to watch the best basketball players in the country play hard, not run the clock out. Play hard for 48 minutes. I think it's way more insulting to the other team to quit playing hard because you feel you have the game wrapped up than it is to run up the score. You never know when a team might come back from 20 points in the last six minutes. You just never know.

By the way, Kings, if any of you are upset, remember: If you were better at basketball last night, the Nuggets wouldn't have been in a position to run up the score.

Phil Jackson, Whiner: Before the recent Blazers-Lakers game in Portland, the Blazers replayed Trevor Ariza's move on Rudy Fernandez which sent Rudy to the hospital in an effort to, I suppose, rile up the crowd and get them into the game. Apparently it's against NBA rules to do things like this. And Lakers coach Phil Jackson took exception, saying, "That's something that they try to prevent in the spirit of good sportsmanship, but Portland has been like that."

Excuse me? Portland has been like that? Showing bad sportsmanship? Who, the team? The fans? I've always felt that over the years Blazers fans have been far from unsportsmanlike, to the point of almost being too soft. I don't know who Jackson is complaining about, but I don't buy into his idea. Plus, Jackson didn't even show up for the game, saying he was injured or something. I don't know; I'm thinking he's tired of taking blame for not being able to figure out how to win in Portland these last few years and wanted someone else to deal with it this time.

And anyway, let's get back to the play, if we're talking bad sportsmanship: Rudy was going in for an uncontested lay-up in the closing seconds of the third quarter in a game the Blazers were absolutely destroying the Lakers. Ariza, instead of just letting Rudy score without incident, took a swipe at Rudy, hitting him on the head and knocking him to the floor. Now, I don't know how intentional or unintentional it was, but Ariza showed no remorse at all. He didn't go over to check on Rudy as he was lying on the floor in obvious pain. I don't think I want to hear a complaint about bad sportsmanship from the Lakers right now. (To be fair, L.A.'s Jordan Farmar immediately went over to Rudy to check on him, so I'll give him credit for that.)

Here's something a Laker fan did recently. I was at the Stockpot at one end of the bar, and at the other end sat a Laker fan, and we got into a conversation about who would win a series between L.A. and Portland. I said that since the home team wins almost every game in this head-to-head rivalry over the last few years (to be more exact, in last four seasons, the Blazers have won only once in L.A. and the the Lakers have won precisely zero times in the Rose Garden), that would naturally lead to the conclusion that the Lakers would win that series in seven games, since they would have home court for four of the seven, including Game 7. This Laker fan said I was crazy and said the Lakers would win in five. I think "fucking crazy" was what he said. And I had just said his team would beat us! I tried to explain my logic, which was, well, logical, but he stuck with his take which was based on LakerFan-itis, and then he insulted me personally. People had to intervene. Nice work, Laker fan. Talk about bad sportsmanship.

Last year I picked the Red Sox to beat the then-longshot Brewers in the World Series. Amazingly, the Brewers did make the playoffs but were dispatched quickly by Philadelphia, and the Red Sox almost made it to the Series, losing in Game 7 of the ALCS to Tampa Bay.

NATIONAL LEAGUE DIVISION CHAMPS:

AMERICAN LEAGUE DIVISION CHAMPS:

WILD CARDS:

NATIONAL LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP:

over

AMERICAN LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP:

over

2009 WORLD SERIES:

over

Big year for the first season of the new Yankee Stadium. The season will end at the Stadium in Game 6, with Alex Rodriguez hitting a walk-off home run to give the New York Yankees the World Series title. Make a prop bet.

For all you folks dedicated to checking in and finding out what we have to say about American Idol, we apologize unreservedly for not having our reviews up the past two weeks. I was unavailable two weeks ago and Smooth was unavailable last week, and it looks like we won't have a review this week, at least an extensive one. Never fear, kids! We'll be back to our usual form soon. In the meantime...

...I think we're going to be saying goodbye to the delightful Megan Joy tonight. She's unique and insanely gorgeous, but her performances really haven't been the kind that win contests like these. I've really liked watching her do her thing these past several weeks, but America probably isn't as keen on her as I am. So it's going to be a rough night for me. But this, too, shall pass.

Meanwhile, Adam has gone from ridiculous awesome to ridiculous to awesome and then to ridiculous again. I can't get a read on this guy. He's not going anywhere. Danny's still strong. Lil is boring me. Allison has some pipes but she's probably going to be leaving soon too; I think the pressure is getting to her and she's trying too hard. Kris has impressed the last couple of weeks, particularly last night's version of Ain't No Sunshine", one of the best performances we've seen this season. Matt followed up last week's amazing performance with something really lame last night. Scott has been quite weak except for last night. And Anoop has disappointed more often than not. I think he's too much of a wannabe. If I had to guess the top three this year, it will likely come down to Danny, Adam and Kris.