Saturday, September 20, 2008
NFL PICKS, WEEK 3
What is it that goes on inside a football player's head that would make him decide to drop the ball on purpose one yard before scoring a touchdown?
The hilarious part about DeSean Jackson's gaffe on Monday night in Dallas is that he realized how stupid he'd been about a second-and-a-half after dropping the ball. Did you see him turn for just a brief second as if to say, "Holy crap...I let go of the ball before I got into the end zone"? And then one more second later, he realizes he can't admit his mistake right then and there, so he stops panicking and starts dancing as if it were a no-brainer tuchdown all along.
Now, I have DeSean Jackson on my fantasy team. That idiotic move cost me six points, that is, until the next play when Brian Westbrook, another player on my team, punched it in from the spot where Jackson left it. So I was spared the horror of maybe finishing out of the money by less than a TD. But I know there were countless people leaping out of their Barcaloungers and spilling their adult beverages while screaming epithets at Jackson, all in a fit of what I'm sure should be called Fantasy Football Fury, a condition that arises when a football player one ordinarily wouldn't give two whits about does something stupid (such as Jackson's bonehead move), clumsy (dropping an easy TD catch), or, strangely, intelligent (Westbrook's wide-open kneeldown just shy of the end zone last year against Dallas so that Philadelphia could keep the ball and run out the clock instead of scoring and kicking the ball off back to the Cowboys).
And yes, I had Westbrook last year too. Two prominent plays especially noteworthy due to their effect on fantasy leagues everywhere, and I have had on my team everyone involved (Jackson once and Westbrook twice). I didn't lose out on any money either time, but even though it could be devastating to my sanity, it still makes it more fun to watch football.
The Romeo Crennel Dumb Move Of The Week: I think I'm going to watch Cleveland Browns games as much as possible with a new interest: finding a time when Romeo Crennel proves yet again that he has absolutely no balls whatsoever. Week 1's debacle was followed up by this travesty: With 3:24 left in the game against Pittsburgh on Sunday night, Crennel orders his kicking unit onto the field to try for a field goal. Sure, why not? You're down 10-3, which means you are trailing by a touchdown. Going for the field goal would be, strategically, the wise thing to do, because once you make it, you'll be...trailing by a touchdown. I swear, Art Modell probably rolled over in his grave. Unless he's not dead. Anyway, what a stoneless thing to do. You haven't scored a TD all night. Your offense is listless. You couldn't score if you got your prom date hammered. And you pull this crap. A field goal? Grow a pair, Romeo!
Shanahan Wasn't All That Gutsy: I think the reason Mike Shanahan went for two was that he felt insanely guilty about Ed Hochuli's horrendous call that kept Denver alive and wanted to give the Chargers a chance to preserve the victory they should have rightfully owned in the first place. And what's with all these pundits saying that San Diego still had a chance to stop the Broncos on not only the play the resulted in the touchdown but also the two-point conversion, but they didn't, so they should stop complaining? They shouldn't have had to stop them again. They should have been given the ball and gotten to take a knee and run out the clock, period, end of story.
SUNDAY MORNING: (team listed first is the pick, home team in caps)
TENNESSEE (-4.5) over Houston
N.Y. GIANTS (-13.5) over Cincinnati
WASHINGTON (-3) over Arizona
NEW ENGLAND (-13) over Miami
Tampa Bay (+3) over CHICAGO
Carolina (-3.5) over MINNESOTASUNDAY AFTERNOON:
The hilarious part about DeSean Jackson's gaffe on Monday night in Dallas is that he realized how stupid he'd been about a second-and-a-half after dropping the ball. Did you see him turn for just a brief second as if to say, "Holy crap...I let go of the ball before I got into the end zone"? And then one more second later, he realizes he can't admit his mistake right then and there, so he stops panicking and starts dancing as if it were a no-brainer tuchdown all along.
Now, I have DeSean Jackson on my fantasy team. That idiotic move cost me six points, that is, until the next play when Brian Westbrook, another player on my team, punched it in from the spot where Jackson left it. So I was spared the horror of maybe finishing out of the money by less than a TD. But I know there were countless people leaping out of their Barcaloungers and spilling their adult beverages while screaming epithets at Jackson, all in a fit of what I'm sure should be called Fantasy Football Fury, a condition that arises when a football player one ordinarily wouldn't give two whits about does something stupid (such as Jackson's bonehead move), clumsy (dropping an easy TD catch), or, strangely, intelligent (Westbrook's wide-open kneeldown just shy of the end zone last year against Dallas so that Philadelphia could keep the ball and run out the clock instead of scoring and kicking the ball off back to the Cowboys).
And yes, I had Westbrook last year too. Two prominent plays especially noteworthy due to their effect on fantasy leagues everywhere, and I have had on my team everyone involved (Jackson once and Westbrook twice). I didn't lose out on any money either time, but even though it could be devastating to my sanity, it still makes it more fun to watch football.
The Romeo Crennel Dumb Move Of The Week: I think I'm going to watch Cleveland Browns games as much as possible with a new interest: finding a time when Romeo Crennel proves yet again that he has absolutely no balls whatsoever. Week 1's debacle was followed up by this travesty: With 3:24 left in the game against Pittsburgh on Sunday night, Crennel orders his kicking unit onto the field to try for a field goal. Sure, why not? You're down 10-3, which means you are trailing by a touchdown. Going for the field goal would be, strategically, the wise thing to do, because once you make it, you'll be...trailing by a touchdown. I swear, Art Modell probably rolled over in his grave. Unless he's not dead. Anyway, what a stoneless thing to do. You haven't scored a TD all night. Your offense is listless. You couldn't score if you got your prom date hammered. And you pull this crap. A field goal? Grow a pair, Romeo!
Shanahan Wasn't All That Gutsy: I think the reason Mike Shanahan went for two was that he felt insanely guilty about Ed Hochuli's horrendous call that kept Denver alive and wanted to give the Chargers a chance to preserve the victory they should have rightfully owned in the first place. And what's with all these pundits saying that San Diego still had a chance to stop the Broncos on not only the play the resulted in the touchdown but also the two-point conversion, but they didn't, so they should stop complaining? They shouldn't have had to stop them again. They should have been given the ball and gotten to take a knee and run out the clock, period, end of story.
SUNDAY MORNING: (team listed first is the pick, home team in caps)
ATLANTA (-6) over Kansas City(The Raiders will win this one straight up. Don't ask. Just take it to Vegas. Silver and Black on the money line, baby.)
Oakland (+9) over BUFFALO
TENNESSEE (-4.5) over Houston
N.Y. GIANTS (-13.5) over Cincinnati
WASHINGTON (-3) over Arizona
NEW ENGLAND (-13) over Miami
Tampa Bay (+3) over CHICAGO
Carolina (-3.5) over MINNESOTASUNDAY AFTERNOON:
St. Louis (+10) over SEATTLESUNDAY NIGHT:
SAN FRANCISCO (-4.5) over Detroit
DENVER (-6) over New Orleans
PHILADELPHIA (-3.5) over Pittsburgh
BALTIMORE (-3) over Cleveland
INDIANAPOLIS (-5) over Jacksonville
GREEN BAY (+3) over DallasMONDAY NIGHT:
N.Y. Jets (+8.5) over SAN DIEGOE.K. Nation's Next Pitcher To Throw A No-Hitter: What with Carlos Zambrano holding the Astros hitless last Monday, it's time to anoint a new EKNNPTTANH. It had been Tim Lincecum, but since he failed so miserably, as all EKNNPTTANHs before him have done, he must be replaced. Let's turn to the man who will make the last start for the Yankees at Yankee Stadium, Andy Pettitte. If magic things truly happen in the Bronx, what a way to close out the stadium's run that would be.
