E.K. NATION

E.K.: I've had E.K. Nation Senior American Idol Correspondent Smooth locked in the basement for a while, and he's ready to come out for another Idol discussion. Hello, Smooth!

Smooth: Hello! Well, as you know, I am a bit of a Beatles fan, and by that I mean I LOVE THEM 4EVA OMG!!!! I must say that I was completely dreading this night going in. Even though we have a solid contestant pool this year, I thought that surely we would see a number of them just murder songs that I love. Let's recap, shall we?

E.K.: We shall! And I will say that I like the Beatles, but only in very small doses. Two hours of it, though, I thought might a bit much. Syesha Mercado was the opening act.

Smooth: It was rather mediocre. I knew she'd do the Earth, Wind, and Fire arrangement of "Got to Get You Into My Life", although it isn't that different from the original, really. It's too low for her in the beginning, and she never did anything vocally that stands out. Not horrible, just boring.

E.K.: Syesha was very pitchy and it seemed like she was always a bit behind the beat. And I didn't like the arrangement at all. It was just too cheesy, something you'd find at any karaoke bar. And it was kind of odd the way the chorus changed, at least from the Beatles version; I'm not sure what EWF did with it. I can't believe Simon actually liked it. He usually hates dreck. I thought that she would be the first one voted out of the Top 12, and she needed to do something spectacular to stay alive. She didn't do it. Next up was Chikezie -- a rather brand new version of Chikezie, to say the least, bringing his take on "She's A Woman".

Smooth: Now this I can get on board with. If you're going to change up the arrangement, at least do something unexpected, not just a rehash of an existing cover. At first he surprised me with an attempt to usurp the country mantle from Kristy Lee, and then he segued nicely into rock mode. The vocal was very good, and he had seemingly boundless energy. Much of the Beatles' early catalogue requires exactly the type of lively performance that Chikezie brings to the stage. It was an interesting and entertaining performance, and he's been doing well the last few weeks.

E.K.: I really liked the folksy banjo/fiddle intro, and then when it moved into the rock part, it was like a bolt of lightning hit. I'd never seen Chikezie perform with that much energy before. Those vocal spasms (that he did on purpose) were interesting and didn't seem forced, like scat does, for example; it just seemed like part of his own enjoyment of his time on stage. He really put a lot into this song and has definitely bumped up the ladder.

Smooth: Probably the most straightforward cover we saw all night came from Ramiele Mulabay ("In My Life"), and as such I can't help but think it sounds like a karaoke performance, but it is an excellent karaoke performance. She sounds really great, perhaps her best vocal to date, even though she doesn't attempt anything too difficult. Unfortunately, this is not the type of performance that gains you votes on this show. Randy and Simon harshly point this out. Honestly, although I see their point, I wasn't bored by it; I paid attention because the vocal was so good. The problem with this song choice is that it has a simple melody, and it would have sounded worse had she attempted any wacky runs and such. She could be in danger.

E.K.: I agree pretty much with everything you said. It was a very pretty rendition of the song, maybe her best at least vocally so far this season, but it would probably go over best at a funeral. I thought her tone was very sweet. Although that standing on the steps and then walking down during the first verse is a bit tiresome. I'm surprised that all three judges pretty much hated it. I mean, come on; it wasn't spectacular but it wasn't bad.

Smooth: Man, is Jason Castro a space cadet. "If I Fell" is a weird song choice, as it normally has a very tight two-part harmony, and this rendition feels like there is something missing. Not liking his vocal on this song, it was just way too breathy and I don't think it worked here. So breathy, in fact, that Mrs. Smooth pointed out that it sounded like he was singing "if I fell in love with Hugh." I didn't think this was anything you couldn't see in any open mic acoustic night at a local bar. He'll be fine this week, though.

E.K.: I wasn't too happy with much of the falsetto or, as you mentioned, the breathiness of his vocal. And it was yet another of the same kind of performance from Jason. He needs to spice it up somehow, maybe take on an up-tempo Maroon 5 song or something. "Hallelujah" was great last week, and to be fair, I did actually like a lot of his vocal Tuesday night, but he's relying too much on one way to perform. I think he's starting to become the guy Mike Birbiglia -- one of the funniest comedians around these days -- wrote a song about, you know, "the guitar guy at the party," the guy who gets drunk (or stoned) enough to grab a guitar and do a song so that he can sleep with your girlfriend.

Smooth: Carly Smithson likes "awrange juice", and who doesn't? And she used the phrase "it goes down treat" -- how exotic! She had another angry look plastered on her face during the performance, belying her pretty smile before and after. There was good energy in the performance, though, and it is sort of an angry song. The vocal was a bit heavy on the vibrato early on, and the song has very short phrasing which doesn't let her show off her power, but she was right on key. She has such a soulful singing voice. It got better in the second half, although the backup singers nearly drowned her out. You can tell she's comfortable with the song. Well done.

E.K.: It was once again a strong performance from the girl with the strongest voice, but I must say, I need to see something else, like a ballad. We all know Carly can rock it, since she's done this type of song over and over. But "Come Together" (a song I've never been fond of) is a tune that doesn't require any emotion to sing; how exactly do you emote when you have to belt out the phrase "toejam football"? I want to see her do something with a really healtfelt sentiment in the lyrics. Having said that, she's delightful, and this lovely lass is not going anywhere. She is safe for next week, easily.

Smooth: Why was David Cook dressed like a villain in Blade II: Vampire Boogaloo?

E.K.: I merely went with Dracula in my notes; props to you for the wonderful fake movie title.

Smooth: "Eleanor Rigby" could have been an inspired song choice, as I think a rock edge in the vocal could work well, but David didn't do the song justice at all. He overdid it, slurring his words and trying to perform too intensely. It just seemed so much more forced than last week. He's kind of scooping into some of the notes, and doing weird things with others; I think it's all on purpose, but the effect is that he sounds off-key at times. The judges liked it way, WAY too much. Did Paula just make fun of handicapped people?

E.K.: I'm going to pause for a moment to briefly discuss how sick to death I am of Paula and her squabbles with Simon. Seems like every time the singers are standing there on stage, awaiting criticism or praise, they have to stand there while Paula and her drunk self takes over with this inane chatter, and then Simon tells her to shut up or something and it just escalates. It's disgusting, and it needs to stop. Okay...back to David Cook now, and weirdly, it seemed to me like he was doing a Michael Johns impression, and Michael Johns is in this very same competition. That's not a good thing to think about when pondering David's chances to win. His voice just didn't seem to fit this song, and I hated the arrangement. His voice was okay, and I'm sure there's somewhere he can go to be a success in the music biz, but it was a distinct drop-off from last week in my book.

Smooth: Now to Brooke White, who said in the interview segment, "Previous to American Idol I was a nanny." E.K., you can't crush on a girl who uses such bad grammar.

E.K.: Brooke fail English? That's unpossible!

Smooth: She does seem to become more attractive each week, though, so...scratch that last statement.

E.K.: I know what you mean. I used to win spelling bees based solely on my looks.

Smooth: Like last week, Brooke went with a very sparse musical accompaniment, and the effect was similar. Her voice is the focus, and once again it's good but not what I'd call great. Like Ramiele, she smartly refrained from trying to do too much with "Let It Be". However, I think the piano keeps it from being perceived as boring. One minor problem: She doesn't seem to know where to look while she's playing -- down at the keys, or out at the audience or the camera. She gives an endearing post-interview in which we see she is genuinely thrilled to be there. Aw. I liked it.

E.K.: I think you're right that if Brooke had just sung this song without accompanying herself on an instrument it might have sounded dull. But that's what makes her great: While not the most spectacular singer or piano- or guitar-player in the world, it's clear she loves doing what she's doing and she takes time to craft performances. She's a musician in the truest sense of the word. I also noticed a Stevie Nicks tone to her voice this time around. Man, I tell ya what, Carly Simon, Carole King, Stevie Nicks...there's no slouch in that group. There is absolutely no way she's being voted out yet, and actually, I think she might be a surprise high finisher. Which is good because I want to keep watching her and rooting for her. Is there anyone rooting against her?

Smooth: Okay, Tuesday night did not work for David Hernandez. "I Saw Her Standing There" is a straight rocker and his voice is basically too smooth for it. He just sounds too R&B. On the original recording McCartney is really into it, literally screaming at times, and this is just way too laid back in comparison. He doesn't even go for the trademark high falsetto note. Very poor song choice.

E.K.: I don't think the song was a bad choice, I just think the way he performed it was the wrong choice. This is one of my all-time favorite Beatles songs, and it may be just because it rocks while being so simple, and that's where Mr. Hernandez went wrong. He tried to glam it up and work some vocal stylings into it, and it just fell flat.

Smooth: Perhaps the most obscure song choice of the night was from Amanda Overmyer, although I am very familiar with it. I've always loved the underlying guitar riff you hear at the beginning of "You Can't Do That", although this arrangement is definitely faster than the original. She was smart to choose a lesser-known song because people would not be able to reconcile her voice with most of the Beatles bigger hits. She doesn't gender-reverse the song, interestingly. She's still having some issues connecting with the audience. She throws her own spin on the song which works pretty well, although she gets ahead of the tempo on a few occasions. I also think she overdoes the stuttering thing (plus we had already seen it from Chikezie). She puts good energy into the vocal and she does stay on pitch well, to my ear. In the post-interview, she manages to smile instead of just looking nauseated like last week. Overall, pretty good on the Amanda sliding scale.

E.K.: I suppose a singer like Amanda doesn't need to be pitch-perfect, but just being energetic and unique-looking isn't enough here. While I admire the devotion she has to her style -- she's Amanda Overmyer, and you gotta deal with it -- and I like the tenacity with which she struts, I just haven't found myself connecting to anything she has done. Which is kind of sad, really, because the Janis Joplin thing is unique to Idol. I do agree, though, that it was wise to do a song that someone like me wouldn't be familiar with, so that we would only have the performance to base a judgment on. (In fact, except for "Revolution" and obviously "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band", I can't take a Beatles title and name the album it came from.) She has no chance of winning this competition, but since that is true, she might as well not bother doing anything different. Unlike my take on Carly, my take here is, keep doing what you're doing, Amanda. And hell, she wouldn't change anyway. Can you imagine her in a dress on a stool singing a Whitney Houston ballad?

Smooth: Before he started singing, I was thinking that "Across the Universe" is a good song for Michael Johns' voice. Indeed, his tone fits the song well, but the slow pace of the song and the esoteric lyrics ("Jai Guru Deva Om") are not working in his favor. Plus, he's saying "garu" instead of "guru".

E.K.: I know! I was totally like, "My God, doesn't this guy know anything about Sanskrit mantras???"

Smooth: It's a heartfelt performance, and think he manages to show off his voice more than he has in the past few weeks. I just think it could have been even better. Love how Simon doesn't remember Carly's name...there are only 12 people, man! Get with it!

E.K.: Yeah, quote of the season from Simon: "What's the Irish girl's name?" Jeezly crow, man. She's only one of the favorites to win. Anyway, Michael Johns is clearly a star. He just looks like one, he performs like one, and the Aussie accent I'm sure has about four million American girls swooning. So before you say the words "man crush!" I'll say this about his take on "Across the Universe": It was not his best. However, he can have a bad week and still sound good. Someone like Ramiele or Kristy Lee has a bad week and it can spell disaster.

Smooth: Another thing that can spell disaster? "D-i-s-a-s-t-e-r."

E.K.: Actually, that isn't a thing that spells "disaster", that is merely the spelling of the word "disaster." In that comment, you are the thing that spelled "disaster."

Smooth: Jeez, man, can't you let me make a joke?

E.K.: Actually, I guess I'm just keeping with Paula's custom of spouting silliness that has nothing to do with anything.

Smooth: You got that right.

E.K.: Hey! Smooth!

Smooth: Yes?

E.K.: Hmmm....what?

Smooth: You...uh...you said, "Hey Smooth!"

E.K.: Oh, sorry. Got distracted by Kristy Lee Cook's outfit again. Let's talk about her. I was just saying that someone like Kristy can't have a bad week and still feel good about her chances.

Smooth: And wow, this was just a mess. Apparently she's covering a Lorrie Morgan cover ("Eight Days A Week"), and I hope to God I never hear it. The drums are annoyingly prominent and the whole thing is way too fast. Her performance is lazy; she's just kind of strolling around the stage and looking around aimlessly. The vocal is okay, although I have to laugh at the sudden twang in her singing voice. I kind of feel bad for her because I am sure she felt she had to do a country song this week, and it was really the wrong theme for that.

E.K.: Well, you can't fault her for not listening to the judges' comments. She was struggling a bit, and they told her to try for some country, and alas, she's not pulling that off either. The arrangement sucked, first of all, which for someone like Kristy Lee might as well be a death knell; she doesn't have the talent to overcome a misstep like that. And everything you said is right on; it was just bad. She definitely looks great, but she's no Brooke.

Smooth: Stop with the Brooke already. Jesus!

E.K.: Never. Never ever ever. Finally, we had David Archuleta.

Smooth: Another singer covering a cover and again it doesn't work. This is by far David's worst performance to date. He forgot the words repeatedly (I thought you were "familiar" with the Stevie Wonder version, David) but that was just the start of his problems. I have not heard the Stevie Wonder version, but I assume that was where he was getting all of these weird stylistic choices. He went for a falsetto note and had no power behind it. He tried another high note and it sounded like he's in pain. The performance was weird too, as he is shaking the mic around for some reason. You have to have a voice like Stevie's to attempt all of the freestyling he went for, and the only thing David did was expose his vocal limitations.

E.K.: I can't think of a single Idol performer who has suffered a bigger dropoff than David Archuleta going from the unbelievable rendition of "Imagine" to this likewise unbelievable mess of a disaster of a catastrophe (it was a mess-disastrophe) of "We Can Work It Out" -- one of the more ironic titles an Idol singer has tackled, given what he did with it. Maybe he should have saved "Imagine" for this week, if "Imagine" counts as a Lennon-McCartney songbook choice. He forgot some lyrics right away, and everything seemed to snowball after that. It just seemed like he let that first mistake rattle him. It was the most uncomfortable I've ever been watching a singer on this show. It was excrutiating from start to finish. God, it hurt. The problem is, an American Idol should not ever have a night like this. Taylor never had one, Fantasia never had one, Ruben never had one, Jordin never had one, even people like Bo and Daughtry and Elliott and Katharine never had one and they still couldn't win. I think this performance is going to severely damage David's chances of winning, even with his charming personality and all that girly nonsense.

Smooth: Okay, so Beatles night wasn't quite as bad as I thought it might be, but there were only a few performances I truly enjoyed. Kristy Lee was downright awful, and there was a whole lot of mediocrity. I think Syesha, Kristy Lee and David Hernandez will be in the bottom three and Syesha will be voted out.

E.K.: You realize of course that I am posting this conversation after the results have been announced, if only for time zones east of us.

Smooth: I do.

E.K.: Well, last week I said Syesha was going to be the first one voted out of the Top 12 and I will stick with that, especially considering she is still the most forgettable singer left. And the fact that she had the most time between her performance and the opening of voting time. Way too much time to utilize in the forgetting of Syesha. And David Hernandez and Kristy Lee will be in the bottom three as well; I agree with you, sir. Anyway, we here on the West Coast have about 90 minutes before we find out who got voted off, so enjoy the show everyone, if you can, and I imagine we'll be subjected to more Paula Abdul-laced crap. We shall talk more Idol next week. Go Brooke!

Smooth: Heavens, man, stop it.

E.K.: Brooke Brooke Brooke!

Smooth.: Oh no.

E.K.: Brooke!

Smooth.: Anybody have any chloroform?

E.K.: Brooke White!