Wednesday, March 5, 2008
A.I. TOP 16
E.K.: All right, let's bring in E.K. Nation's Senior American Idol Correspondent Smooth to discuss the good, the bad and the ugly of last night's show.
Smooth: First off, not feeling your hatred of Alexandrea last week. I liked her personality and her vocal wasn't the grease fire you made it out to be. Also, you're still way too high on David Archuleta's vocal last week. Yes, it was good, but go watch a YouTube video of Melinda Doolittle doing "My Funny Valentine" or Kelly Clarkson's "Stuff Like That There", or even Jennifer Hudson's "Circle of Life" or *gasp* Justin Guarini's "Get Here". If we're just going on sheer vocal talent I don't think David's performance last week was elite. Why you gotta be so Xtreme??
E.K.: And a big Sunflower Hello to you too! Well, hey, I love controversy! As for Alexandrea, even she thought she sucked, so how am I supposed to like it? And as for Archuleta's take on "Imagine", I still say it was one of the best vocal performances I've ever seen on A.I., and a lot of people agree with me. And as you know, might makes right, so it's me and those who agree with me against you and you alone, because you didn't cite anyone who agreed with you. I win.
Smooth: Oh, for filth's sake.
E.K.: Okay, let's start talking about Tuesday night, and the disaster that is Luke Menard. I couldn't believe he chose to do "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go", which is almost a novelty song at this point in American society's chronology. I don't even think the girl voters who think he's dreamy will lift a finger to vote for that performance. He was off pitch again and the whole thing almost seemed like he was doing it as a joke.
Smooth: He's not getting better. I'm just not a fan of his voice, it is just too thin and slightly nasal. The falsetto notes are particularly painful. This song has almost no chance of coming off as not cheesy... and that chance goes down to nil when Luke is singing it. Simon, as always, put it succinctly: It was "girly". And no, he's not going to win, or even survive the week.
E.K.: Agreed: He will not make it to the Final 12 and the New Stage! Up next was David Archuleta and his rendition of "Another Day In Paradise".
Smooth: Ah, he's tickling the keys. That's a nice touch. He's got his "smoldering" look going on which is mildly humorous since he looks thirteen. He is missing some notes early. He's trying to play with the melody again and it's not working nearly as well as last week. Not bad, but expectations were high after last week.
E.K.: I thought this was pretty awkward, without even taking last week into account. First, it's kind of weird to see someone start a song on the keyboard and walk away from it to finish the song. Maybe he wanted to say, "Hey, I can play an instrument too!" but just enough so that he wasn't distracted from singing well. And it didn't work; you're right, he missed some notes. And David, why try to "bring attention to those around the world who have nothing" when Idol Gives Back is going to do just that in a few weeks? Concentrate on singing and going for that million-dollar record deal before trying to help society or something strange like that!
Smooth: No, Danny. Oh, no, no, no.
E.K.: Hmmm...I sense a scathing review of Danny Noriega.
Smooth: No doubt. The scarf, the hip shaking, the hair, the song choice, the stomping... yikes. Luke, I apologize for agreeing with the notion that you were "girly". Okay, this is a terrible performance. It's melodramatic, like he is chewing the scenery in an off-off-off-Broadway musical. The vocal is almost as bad as the performance: breathy, and he just wasn't focusing on singing because he was too busy strutting around like an idiot. If I was watching this for free on a cruise ship I'd walk out and grab a cheeseburger with no pickles. I had hope for him, but he is getting worse each week. Possibly the most cringe-worthy performance of the semifinals thus far, right up there with Amanda last week (or any time, really).
E.K.: Agreed. The arrangement of "Tainted Love" was horrid. And I have to call bullshit yet again on Danny's choice of song. He did a song from the 50s during 60s Week, and now he's doing a song from 1964 for 80s Week. Yes, I know the reason we all know the song is that Soft Cell did it in the 80s but still, this guy is bugging me with his, dare I say, illegal song choices. But he's also bugging me with just about everything he's doing anyway. The vocals, the dancing, just horrendous from start to finish. He's like a disobedient dog tracking in misery all over the A.I. carpet. And I just don't like his attitude much. I'm surprised they even bothered to interview Danny for the "Most Embarrassing Thing That's Ever Happened To Me" segments. This guy isn't embarrassed by anything as far as I can tell. Not even his obscene "Christmas greeting" video clip that's on YouTube. Also, Paula was drunk. Can we please get someone on this show who makes sense?
Smooth: Apparently David Hernandez used to strip in Phoenix. I remember seeing him dance to Prin... I mean, NOTHING!!
E.K.: Ah, busted! I saw you there, dude! I--Err, wait, I mean, what?
Smooth: This is not a good vocal by his standards. Sort of a weird song choice, I thought. He was flat on several notes. His performance style is still mostly limited to him getting a very intense look on his face. Overall, the song is a bit boring, which does not bode well in a dangerous week for him. He is, however, showing more personality, which is a positive.
E.K.: I watched this episode late last night, or way early this morning, I suppose, and might have been a little loopy, because I didn't recognize the song and also wrote in my notes that it sounded like he was singing in ESL. Is that kosher? (Upon further review, it was apparently "It's All Coming Back To Me Now" by Meatloaf. I knew there was a reason I didn't know what it was: I didn't know what it was!) It was very nasal and I thought he could have done better, and he certainly has before. He won't get voted out but he hasn't hit that Wow song that every winner needs.
Smooth: Michael Johns seems more focused this week. The movement on stage is similar each week; it reminds me of a combination of Michael Hutchence and Michael Stipe. He is the Michael of many Michaels. Much better vocal from him this week than last. Some missed notes still, and I think he is capable of better. Good energy on stage, and he kicked it up a notch in the second half of the song. He has charisma but I do think he needs to show off the vocals a bit more.
E.K.: I liked it a lot. The vocals were a bit shaky at first but he worked it out and did that showman thing he has that others are lacking this year. It was a good song choice; everyone was going to know and like "(Don't You) Forget About Me" -- or is it "Don't You (Forget About Me)"? -- and the showman in him was going to rock it out. Now let's go to David Cook and his rendition of "Hello".
Smooth: Yikes, the first phrase was rough, but it smoothed out from there. Wacky song choice, although I surprisingly don't hate the arrangement. Pretty good vocal; he's actually been pretty consistent as far as his vocals go. He's actually not grating on me nearly as much as he usually does. In fact, if this were the first time I'd seen him I think I'd like it even more. The judges agree with me on the good arrangement.
E.K.: This was by far David Cook's best performance. When Seacrest said David was going to say "Hello" I was hoping he wouldn't try to Lionel Richie us into the ground because that would have been boring. Fortunately, he brought the guitar out and gave it a new spin and it totally worked. The arrangement was great, and I think the song totally works as a rock ballad.
Smooth: Check this out: Jason Castro was TOTALLY baked in the pre-interview.
E.K.: Pass the Cheetos. And his "Most Embarrassing Moment" was one of his dreads coming out of his head during a date! Ewwww. Ooooh. You know that mouth-watery feeling you get right before you puke?
Smooth: I'm familiar with it. And uh-oh, he's doing "Hallelujah", which Jeff Buckley did to perfection back when he was not dead, so he's got a lot to live up to. He didn't do too badly, actually, and it fit his voice. He's not Buckley by any means, but I didn't think he would pull it off, and he's proving me wrong. Totally runs out of breath on the penultimate phrase and it sounds awful, but up until then I was pleasantly surprised. Randy and Simon concur on the Buckley issue, but they also like it.
E.K.: I really liked this one. His vocals are now at the forefront, and he has a great voice. He really could be a star if only he looked like he gave a crap about being on American Idol. He's so unaffected by anything they've got going on there in Hollywood, and maybe that's a positive, but if he wants to win, he might have to at least pretend to want this. I wonder how he's going to do when they start doing the Ford commercials in the Top 12. Last but not least, we have Chikezie, whose last name is still misplaced somewhere.
Smooth: Well, he's trying to play to his strengths by staying in the R&B genre. Once again, the song was gender-reversed which is distracting. I didn't like the choppy arrangement; I hate it when they have to skip around in the song to stay within the time limit. The vocal was pretty good if not outstanding. The last line sounded a little weird. Randy noticed this as well. I think last week he really owned the song, and this was just OK.
E.K.: I thought this was pretty good, but I'm not wowed by him. I didn't remember this song from the 80s so I wasn't distracted by the gender change. I just don't know what to think of this guy. Is he good enough to win? I don't think so. This week he performed rather well, but something tells me he is in Ruben Studdard's shadow -- aren't we all, really? -- by being a somewhat-big black R&B singer. So: Who's going to get booted, Smooth? I say Luke is gone for sure, and Danny is too. I would surely vote out those two if I had any say. And actually I guess I do, since I can vote, but what am I, an Idol geek or something?
Smooth: Of course not. How could we ever take this thing seriously? Errrr...ahem. I would vote out Luke and Danny as well, but I think Luke is gone and maybe David Hernandez will be too.
E.K.: I'm not sure the "scandal" of David H. being a stripper is important enough as to cause people to not vote for him. I think Danny has proven that he just sucks. I hope nobody's got a Vote For The Worst campaign on him. Or maybe I do. It would be so fascinatingly morbid watching him try to Sanjaya his way through this field. Which, come to think of it, may be the reason he won't get the boot. Anyway, we've got the girls tonight, and I can't wait to see what Brooke does.
Smooth: Awww, E.K.'s in love.
E.K.: Shut it.
Smooth: First off, not feeling your hatred of Alexandrea last week. I liked her personality and her vocal wasn't the grease fire you made it out to be. Also, you're still way too high on David Archuleta's vocal last week. Yes, it was good, but go watch a YouTube video of Melinda Doolittle doing "My Funny Valentine" or Kelly Clarkson's "Stuff Like That There", or even Jennifer Hudson's "Circle of Life" or *gasp* Justin Guarini's "Get Here". If we're just going on sheer vocal talent I don't think David's performance last week was elite. Why you gotta be so Xtreme??
E.K.: And a big Sunflower Hello to you too! Well, hey, I love controversy! As for Alexandrea, even she thought she sucked, so how am I supposed to like it? And as for Archuleta's take on "Imagine", I still say it was one of the best vocal performances I've ever seen on A.I., and a lot of people agree with me. And as you know, might makes right, so it's me and those who agree with me against you and you alone, because you didn't cite anyone who agreed with you. I win.
Smooth: Oh, for filth's sake.
E.K.: Okay, let's start talking about Tuesday night, and the disaster that is Luke Menard. I couldn't believe he chose to do "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go", which is almost a novelty song at this point in American society's chronology. I don't even think the girl voters who think he's dreamy will lift a finger to vote for that performance. He was off pitch again and the whole thing almost seemed like he was doing it as a joke.
Smooth: He's not getting better. I'm just not a fan of his voice, it is just too thin and slightly nasal. The falsetto notes are particularly painful. This song has almost no chance of coming off as not cheesy... and that chance goes down to nil when Luke is singing it. Simon, as always, put it succinctly: It was "girly". And no, he's not going to win, or even survive the week.
E.K.: Agreed: He will not make it to the Final 12 and the New Stage! Up next was David Archuleta and his rendition of "Another Day In Paradise".
Smooth: Ah, he's tickling the keys. That's a nice touch. He's got his "smoldering" look going on which is mildly humorous since he looks thirteen. He is missing some notes early. He's trying to play with the melody again and it's not working nearly as well as last week. Not bad, but expectations were high after last week.
E.K.: I thought this was pretty awkward, without even taking last week into account. First, it's kind of weird to see someone start a song on the keyboard and walk away from it to finish the song. Maybe he wanted to say, "Hey, I can play an instrument too!" but just enough so that he wasn't distracted from singing well. And it didn't work; you're right, he missed some notes. And David, why try to "bring attention to those around the world who have nothing" when Idol Gives Back is going to do just that in a few weeks? Concentrate on singing and going for that million-dollar record deal before trying to help society or something strange like that!
Smooth: No, Danny. Oh, no, no, no.
E.K.: Hmmm...I sense a scathing review of Danny Noriega.
Smooth: No doubt. The scarf, the hip shaking, the hair, the song choice, the stomping... yikes. Luke, I apologize for agreeing with the notion that you were "girly". Okay, this is a terrible performance. It's melodramatic, like he is chewing the scenery in an off-off-off-Broadway musical. The vocal is almost as bad as the performance: breathy, and he just wasn't focusing on singing because he was too busy strutting around like an idiot. If I was watching this for free on a cruise ship I'd walk out and grab a cheeseburger with no pickles. I had hope for him, but he is getting worse each week. Possibly the most cringe-worthy performance of the semifinals thus far, right up there with Amanda last week (or any time, really).
E.K.: Agreed. The arrangement of "Tainted Love" was horrid. And I have to call bullshit yet again on Danny's choice of song. He did a song from the 50s during 60s Week, and now he's doing a song from 1964 for 80s Week. Yes, I know the reason we all know the song is that Soft Cell did it in the 80s but still, this guy is bugging me with his, dare I say, illegal song choices. But he's also bugging me with just about everything he's doing anyway. The vocals, the dancing, just horrendous from start to finish. He's like a disobedient dog tracking in misery all over the A.I. carpet. And I just don't like his attitude much. I'm surprised they even bothered to interview Danny for the "Most Embarrassing Thing That's Ever Happened To Me" segments. This guy isn't embarrassed by anything as far as I can tell. Not even his obscene "Christmas greeting" video clip that's on YouTube. Also, Paula was drunk. Can we please get someone on this show who makes sense?
Smooth: Apparently David Hernandez used to strip in Phoenix. I remember seeing him dance to Prin... I mean, NOTHING!!
E.K.: Ah, busted! I saw you there, dude! I--Err, wait, I mean, what?
Smooth: This is not a good vocal by his standards. Sort of a weird song choice, I thought. He was flat on several notes. His performance style is still mostly limited to him getting a very intense look on his face. Overall, the song is a bit boring, which does not bode well in a dangerous week for him. He is, however, showing more personality, which is a positive.
E.K.: I watched this episode late last night, or way early this morning, I suppose, and might have been a little loopy, because I didn't recognize the song and also wrote in my notes that it sounded like he was singing in ESL. Is that kosher? (Upon further review, it was apparently "It's All Coming Back To Me Now" by Meatloaf. I knew there was a reason I didn't know what it was: I didn't know what it was!) It was very nasal and I thought he could have done better, and he certainly has before. He won't get voted out but he hasn't hit that Wow song that every winner needs.
Smooth: Michael Johns seems more focused this week. The movement on stage is similar each week; it reminds me of a combination of Michael Hutchence and Michael Stipe. He is the Michael of many Michaels. Much better vocal from him this week than last. Some missed notes still, and I think he is capable of better. Good energy on stage, and he kicked it up a notch in the second half of the song. He has charisma but I do think he needs to show off the vocals a bit more.
E.K.: I liked it a lot. The vocals were a bit shaky at first but he worked it out and did that showman thing he has that others are lacking this year. It was a good song choice; everyone was going to know and like "(Don't You) Forget About Me" -- or is it "Don't You (Forget About Me)"? -- and the showman in him was going to rock it out. Now let's go to David Cook and his rendition of "Hello".
Smooth: Yikes, the first phrase was rough, but it smoothed out from there. Wacky song choice, although I surprisingly don't hate the arrangement. Pretty good vocal; he's actually been pretty consistent as far as his vocals go. He's actually not grating on me nearly as much as he usually does. In fact, if this were the first time I'd seen him I think I'd like it even more. The judges agree with me on the good arrangement.
E.K.: This was by far David Cook's best performance. When Seacrest said David was going to say "Hello" I was hoping he wouldn't try to Lionel Richie us into the ground because that would have been boring. Fortunately, he brought the guitar out and gave it a new spin and it totally worked. The arrangement was great, and I think the song totally works as a rock ballad.
Smooth: Check this out: Jason Castro was TOTALLY baked in the pre-interview.
E.K.: Pass the Cheetos. And his "Most Embarrassing Moment" was one of his dreads coming out of his head during a date! Ewwww. Ooooh. You know that mouth-watery feeling you get right before you puke?
Smooth: I'm familiar with it. And uh-oh, he's doing "Hallelujah", which Jeff Buckley did to perfection back when he was not dead, so he's got a lot to live up to. He didn't do too badly, actually, and it fit his voice. He's not Buckley by any means, but I didn't think he would pull it off, and he's proving me wrong. Totally runs out of breath on the penultimate phrase and it sounds awful, but up until then I was pleasantly surprised. Randy and Simon concur on the Buckley issue, but they also like it.
E.K.: I really liked this one. His vocals are now at the forefront, and he has a great voice. He really could be a star if only he looked like he gave a crap about being on American Idol. He's so unaffected by anything they've got going on there in Hollywood, and maybe that's a positive, but if he wants to win, he might have to at least pretend to want this. I wonder how he's going to do when they start doing the Ford commercials in the Top 12. Last but not least, we have Chikezie, whose last name is still misplaced somewhere.
Smooth: Well, he's trying to play to his strengths by staying in the R&B genre. Once again, the song was gender-reversed which is distracting. I didn't like the choppy arrangement; I hate it when they have to skip around in the song to stay within the time limit. The vocal was pretty good if not outstanding. The last line sounded a little weird. Randy noticed this as well. I think last week he really owned the song, and this was just OK.
E.K.: I thought this was pretty good, but I'm not wowed by him. I didn't remember this song from the 80s so I wasn't distracted by the gender change. I just don't know what to think of this guy. Is he good enough to win? I don't think so. This week he performed rather well, but something tells me he is in Ruben Studdard's shadow -- aren't we all, really? -- by being a somewhat-big black R&B singer. So: Who's going to get booted, Smooth? I say Luke is gone for sure, and Danny is too. I would surely vote out those two if I had any say. And actually I guess I do, since I can vote, but what am I, an Idol geek or something?
Smooth: Of course not. How could we ever take this thing seriously? Errrr...ahem. I would vote out Luke and Danny as well, but I think Luke is gone and maybe David Hernandez will be too.
E.K.: I'm not sure the "scandal" of David H. being a stripper is important enough as to cause people to not vote for him. I think Danny has proven that he just sucks. I hope nobody's got a Vote For The Worst campaign on him. Or maybe I do. It would be so fascinatingly morbid watching him try to Sanjaya his way through this field. Which, come to think of it, may be the reason he won't get the boot. Anyway, we've got the girls tonight, and I can't wait to see what Brooke does.
Smooth: Awww, E.K.'s in love.
E.K.: Shut it.
