E.K. NATION

BAD MOMENTS IN BEST PICTURE HISTORY:

I'll start this section by saying that the Academy seems to always have trouble giving the Best Picture Oscar to the actual best picture. In my estimation, the last actual best picture to win the award was Schindler's List, back in 1993. But I'll try to highlight the real doozies:

How Green Was My Valley, 1941: Disclaimer: I have never seen How Green Was My Valley, and it may very well be a lovely picture. I suppose I should see it one day, to try to figure out how it won Best Picture over freaking CITIZEN KANE.

2001: A Space Odyssey, 1968 (because it was not nominated): Not nominated. Were the voters out in space?

Ordinary People, 1980 (because it won and because of what didn't win): This overwrought melodrama won the Oscar over Raging Bull. And Robert Redford won Best Director over Martin Scorsese. Somehow, this happened. In real life.

Dead Poets Society, 1989 (because it was even made; let's start with that): It's a story riddled with ridiculously false moments, from the scapegoating of the teacher played by Robin Williams, to the inexplicable suicide by a student with a mean daddy, to the students' standing on their desks as some sort of grandiose statement. Really? Standing on their desks? Even in the last shot, which is supposed to be, like, really dramatic or something? Somehow the voters loved it and nominated it; to borrow a phrase from Roger Ebert, I hated, hated, hated it. Weren't there better moments in Do The Right Thing, which should have been nominated instead, and probably should have won?

Welton Academy students stand on their desks to protest the absence of Do The Right Thing from the Best Picture list in 1989

Forrest Gump, 1994 (because it boggles the mind): This film, like its title character, is just dumb. I don't have time to list all the reasons I despise this film. I want to, in order to be fair, but I suppose I'd have to see it one more time to create a complete list; I admit to you, fair reader, that I don't want to waste my time seeing this piece of crap again. That it wound up beating Pulp Fiction for Best Picture is not only mind-boggling but heartbreaking; the Academy could have shown some balls and chosen to honor a wildly inventive crime thriller instead of an insipid, lame tear-jerker-slash-feel-good thing. And, and...think now that Gump also defeated The Shawshank Redemption for this award. Aaaarrgghhh. I don't want to hink about it anymore.

The English Patient, 1996 (because of what didn't win): I wasn't too enthralled by this film; then again, I don't have anything bad to say about it. But everyone remembers Fargo. The Coen brothers' marvelous tale of a kidnapping scheme gone wrong in the bleak snow of Minnesota remains a perfect film. Forget Frances McDormand's gift to us of her character, Chief Marge Gunderson -- although I suppose you can't forget it -- every character, from William H. Macy's blundering car salesman to the snow-shoveling Mr. Mohra to Mike Yanagita, enriches the story in ways that are still remarkable. In 20 years, people who are not that into movies will be shocked to learn that a film called The English Patient won the Best Picture Oscar for 1996 instead of Fargo, a film they once saw and loved.

Shakespeare In Love, 1998 (because of what didn't win): It almost seemed that the Academy knew Saving Private Ryan was going to win; they got Harrison Ford to come out on stage to -- presumably -- announce that his buddy Steven Spielberg's picture had won the top prize. Ford seemed a bit unpleasantly surprised to find that Shakespeare In Love was the title inside the envelope, but I know I definitely was unpleasantly surprised. The first 25 minutes of Ryan alone seemed enough to earn that epic the Best Picture, never mind the rest of the film with more expertly-staged war scenes interspersed with some compelling character study. Instead, we have a harmless but unmemorable film about some Shakespearean actors that will be known as the "best" film of 1998.

Gladiator, 2001 (because it won): Simply put, Gladiator was excrutiatingly dull. The far superior Traffic and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon were nominated that year. What a shame that the Academy fell yet again into the routine of voting for the Epic instead of for creativity.

Here I might also mention American Beauty, a film that gets worse and worse each time I subject myself to it (and I actually liked it the first time), but there wasn't much else in cinema this year, apparently; The Cider House Rules and The Green Mile also got nominations. So Beauty gets a pass for being in a weak field.

BAD MOMENTS IN BEST ACTOR HISTORY:

Tom Cruise, Rain Man, 1988 (because he was not nominated): Dustin Hoffman won the Oscar for this film for what was basically a one-note performance, save for a couple scenes where the autistic Raymond Babbitt screams in terror over a plane ride or a scalding hot bath. Granted, it's not a bad performance by Hoffman; he gave the role everything it needed and I had no problem thinking the character was autistic. But to honor Hoffman with an Oscar while ignoring Tom Cruise's vastly superior effort as Rain Man's arrogant brother Charlie was ludicrous. Cruise's is the character that requires a truly dynamic performance; he's the one who undergoes all the changes. Considering who Cruise would have been up against had he been nominated instead, Cruise might have won.

Al Pacino, Scent Of A Woman, 1992 (because he won): One of the most egeregious examples of hamming it up, Pacino's Lt. Col. Frank Slade is an annoying character placed in a ridiculous set of situations, ranging from his attempt at driving a sports car despite being blind, to Slade's inexplicably becoming the focus of a subplot involving a group of prep school classmates who face expulsion for a prank. When he cries out "I'm just gettin' warmed up!" at the students' hearing -- a scene that is truly one of the stupidest in recent movie history -- I cringe; I want him to immediately tone it down instead. Comprehending the fact that Pacino got his one Oscar for this nonsense is one of the most difficult things I have ever attempted.

Tom Hanks, Cast Away, 2001 (because he did not win): Russell Crowe won the Oscar for Gladiator in 2001, but his work in that far-less-than-stellar film was overshadowed by Tom Hanks, who pretty much carried Cast Away. I suppose we'd had a full decade of Tom Hanks Overload; he won in 1993 and 1994, was nominated two other times, and pretty much had 83 box office hits, and maybe that's why the Academy wouldn't honor him. But I defy anyone to watch Gladiator again and tell me what Crowe did to earn an Oscar that was more impressive than what Hanks went through to film Cast Away. Hanks absolutely carried that film from start to finish, and did one of those DeNiro-like body-changing transformations to boot.

Daniel Day-Lewis, Gangs Of New York, 2002 (because he did not win): As with Hoffman's selection, the problem lies with who did not get the award rather than with who did. Adrien Brody, in becoming the youngest Best Actor winner ever, gave a fine performance in The Pianist, but there is no way that Daniel Day-Lewis should not have been rewarded for his amazing turn as Bill the Butcher in Gangs Of New York. Fortunately for DDL, I suspect that he will get his second Oscar (to go along with the one he got for My Left Foot) for what I understand is yet another career-topping role, that of oilman Daniel Plainview from There Will Be Blood. Still, nobody deserved the Academy Award of Merit in 2002the way Day-Lewis did.

Paul Giamatti, Sideways, 2004 (because he was not nominated: Giamatti's work in Sideways is like a master class in acting. He's awkward, touching, authoritative, daring, drunk, lovestruck. To see this film and not think of Paul Giamatti as one of the finest actors of our time is...well, first, tell me who thinks that it is even possible to not think that?

BAD MOMENTS IN BEST ACTRESS HISTORY:

I actually can't think of any, strangely. The Academy is usually pretty good with this category. Maybe Gwyneth Paltrow, Julia Roberts and Reese Witherspoon were weak winners in the last decade, but there hasn't been anything so atrocious in my memory that is worth mentioning.

E.K. NATION'S OSCAR PREDICTIONS:

Picture:

No Country For Old Men

Actor:

Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood

Actress:

Julie Christie, Away From Her

Supporting Actor:

Javier Bardem, No Country For Old Men

Supporting Actress:

Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton

Director:

Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country For Old Men

Original Screenplay:

Diablo Cody, Juno

Adapted Screenplay

Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country For Old Men

Editing:

Roderick Jaynes, No Country For Old Men

Note: Roderick Jaynes is the name Joel and Ethan Coen use for their editing credits

Animated Feature:

Ratatouille

Art Direction:

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street

Cinematography:

Atonement

Costume Design:

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street

Documentary, Feature:

No End In Sight

Documentary, Short:

Sari's Mother

Foreign Language Film:

The Counterfeiters

Makeup:

La Vie En Rose

Original Score:

Dario Marianelli, Atonement

Original Song:

Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova, "Falling Slowly," Once

Animated Short:

I Met The Walrus

Live Action Short:

Le Mozart Des Pickpockets

Sound Editing:

Transformers

Sound Mixing:

Transformers

Visual Effects:

Transformers