E.K. NATION

I shall now welcome back E.K. Nation's Senior American Idol Correspondent "Smooth" to discuss with me the latest American Idol happenings.

Smooth: Glad to be back.

E.K.: So we know who got voted out: Alaina, Alexandrea, Jason Y. and Robbie. First let's discuss the guys.

Smooth: Michael Johns was first, and this was definitely the worst we've seen him. He didn't even look dressed up. This was an Alibi-level karaoke performance.

E.K.: I've mentioned The Alibi before; that's a joint in North Portland that we used to occasionally hit for some drinks and maybe some bad karaoke experiences.

Smooth: Especially when you sang.

E.K. I shall punch you.

Smooth: Just kidding. The song was out of Michael's range, and it sounded awful; his voice cracked, he missed notes, the whole bit. Plus, it brought out the worst in his vibrato. Randy and Paula are on crack not calling him out for that crap. Thank God for Simon, and even he was a little too easy on him, in my eyes.

E.K.: I, on the other hand, thought that this was the kind of performance that makes Michael unique. True, he might have suffered a bit vocally, especially when trying to hit the high notes, at least to someone else's ear; he definitely sounded like he was straining to hit them. However, he did manage to hit them, albeit in a weird way, and to me, the tone of his voice made his rendition of "Go Your Own Way" sound good. There's a quality to his voice that I haven't figured out quite yet, and I've speculated that maybe the Australian accent had something to do with it, but I just can't pinpoint it. All I know is that he sounds great to me. I like his "What the viewers would be surprised to learn about me" segment: He plays tennis! Holy Roger Federer, Batman! What other shocking revelations will we hear about this week?

Smooth: Next we had Jason Castro.

E.K.: What I think Mr. Castro needs to do is work on his capital-p Performing, that is if he wants to stay alive in this competition. We've seen him sing a mellow song while playing guitar twice now, and that's pretty much it. I like him; he has a decent voice and all, and he seems to be a nice guy, but he's going to have to step it up and start wowing us before he can reserve a spot in the top 8 or even top 10.

Smooth: I thought he sounded similar to last week, except with a less catchy song. He's charismatic on stage, with a just-OK and a bit overstylized vocal. The guitar works for him and his whole image. I always think doing a more obscure song is a risk on this show, but he's easily got the fan base to sail through this week. Luke Menard, however, does not. I actually give him props for even attempting that song. Great song, but as Simon points out, you basically have to be Freddie Mercury to sing it, since Freddie had one of the most interesting and identifiable rock voices in history. Although I think he stayed on pitch, Luke's reedy voice just doesn't work, and his performance was as boring as it possibly could have been while singing this song. Not good. He should have been booted this week.

E.K.: Luke's performance was cringe-worthy. I'm someone who, for the most part, hates Queen's music. Most of what Queen did was horrible. However, I recognize Freddie Mercury's presence in rock history, so if you're going to attempt a Queen song, you better nail it. Luke didn't even come close. He didn't even come close to coming close to coming close to nailing it. He sounded whiny throughout while seemingly never hitting one note. It was just awful, even if I hated Queen's version as much as I hated Luke's. I agree; he should have been voted out.

Smooth: Let's discuss Robbie Carrico. Last time you thought I was calling him Constantine-y, which I think is going a bit too far. He's a far better singer than than C-Maroul ever was, and although I think the rock image is not "authentic", it's not as calculated and...sleazy as Constantine's. Anyway, the song bored me. Randy correctly pointed out that his voice does not have a rock edge. Of course, if he cut his hair and sang a ballad, he'd probably sound fine but get bounced immediately, so I guess that since he got voted out, it wouldn't have mattered.

E.K. Okay, so maybe he wasn't as bad as Constantine, on the preen-fest scale. But at least Constantine was interesting. God, Robbie was not, at all, at all, at all. That was such a bad song choice for him, if only because the key was way too low. Lou Gramm wailed on that song for Foreigner; Robbie just sounded lifeless and dull with his version. The key was way too low for his voice. I'm fine with him being voted out, rumors that he wore a wig not withstanding. Too bad, TMZ, he got voted out. Next "scandal", please! Next we had Danny Noriega.

Smooth: Another bad song choice for him ("Superstar"). It's at the bottom of his register at the beginning, and although he actually pulls it off (which is difficult, and requires more breath control than you'd think), it doesn't sound fantastic. I have to compare Danny's vocal to that of Karen Carpenter, who I think had one of the greatest voices of all time. He threw in ornamentation that sounded really weird on this song. I know he's still trying to be Sassy!, but I have a feeling that if Danny toned down the theatrics a bit I'd like him more.

E.K.: Danny sounded way too cruise-ship for me. And at this point I am completely at a loss as to what genre of music Danny would be most successful in. There's just something about him that rubs me the wrong way. But I do give him props for capitulating in regards to Simon's criticism of his performance last week, agreeing at last that it wasn't all that good; I guess a viewing on a TV screen a day or so later can really change one's view of a performance. Danny's personality is surely seen as winning by some people, and that will allow him to go farther than he deserves in this competition.

Smooth: Now we have David Hernandez. In terms of pure vocal talent, I still think he's one of the best male contestants in years. He can do almost anything he wants to with his voice, which has obvious power, and he plays it straight and adds flourishes at the appropriate times. This performance was better than last week's, and I do think the storytelling nature of the song helped him with that. He still looks angry while singing, but it works here. If he can keep improving on stage, he could get very far.

E.K.: He did seem much more comfortable on stage this time, and his vocal was right on. And I agree that he might be one of the best guy singers A.I. has had, but he hasn't yet done that one song that completely puts everyone else to shame. He came close this week, though.

Smooth: As for Jason Yeager: Yikes. He definitely is a cabaret singer, both in his slightly nasal voice and the cheesy perma-grin that is still affixed from last week. I'm just not a fan. I feel what he's saying in the post-song interview, that he tried to change it up from last week, but there's nothing he could have done to make me like him more than some of the other guys. Sorry, Jason Y. Enjoy your time off.

E.K.: Agreed. This guy was Cheez Whiz from the get-go. Bad dancing, the grin...yeeccchh. He's just been a bad karaoke performer these last couple of weeks. This was the epitome of a bad night at The Alibi. Next was Chikezie, who I thought rocked the house. It's not easy to do Donny Hathaway, but Mr. Eze made it happen. If anything, it was so much better than last week.

Smooth: I'm not familiar with this song, but it works well for Chikezie. I enjoyed the way Chikezie worked his name (Chikezie) into the song, because I would totally do that. Good thing my real name is Wang M. Chung. Anyway, Chikezie totally rocks the R&B vibe, and Chikezie sounds good. I still don't quite understand Chikezie's sartorial decisions, but I liked Chikezie's performance a lot. Chikezie! After that was David Cook. Was that a golf towel in his back pocket? Was he going to wash my window at the stoplight? I loved his lame examples of his "large" vocabulary. Anyway, I didn't really love this performance. His vocals are OK, but he's just kinda boring. The guitar seems a little pointless at times. He's just not standing out, which means he's not a contender.

E.K.: I was kind of skeptical that it was him even playing the guitar in the first place. There was a brief solo interlude that seemed to be him playing, but anyway, I didn't see the point of him playing the guitar at all. If it's to just appear to be multi-dimensional, I am against it. Having said that, I thought he had a good stage presence and that he could pass for a rock star, if only of a Story-Of-The-Year quality. I thought it was okay.

Smooth: Next was David Archuleta. I think this was the third performance of "Imagine" on this show, after Ruben Studdard and Blake Lewis, and it was likely the best (I don't remember Ruben's version that well). He changed up the melody a bit, which you have to do on this show with a simple song like "Imagine". He's just got a nice tone to his voice, although Randy goes overboard in his praise of the vocal. I don't think he's got the vocal chops of some of the other contestants, particularly Carly and David H. However, he's not that far off, and as my wife points out he is young, cute, and endearing, and he is Mrs. Smooth's official pick to win. I'm finding it hard to disagree with her right now.

E.K.: I'm not sure what show you were watching when David Archuleta sang, but his take on "Imagine" was one of the best rendered performances I have ever seen on American Idol. The arrangement was great and set the tone for David's youthful-but-mature vocal. I knew he was good, but I didn't know he was that Good. Bravo to David A., who will surely be in the top 5. Now let's go to the girls' side. Carly Smithson was first, and my initial thought was that trying to do a Heart song can only hurt and not help. However, I think Carly did a solid job with it. At points she tried too hard to blast it out and it might have seemed a bit strained, but she's definitely a strong vocalist and it seemed much more authentic an attempt than, say, Carrie Underwood's try at "Alone" a couple years ago.

Smooth: You know, Carly is the opposite of David Cook and Robbie in that she doesn't even try to come off as "rock" - you can just tell, when she is singing a rock song, that she really does have an edge to her personality that is not manufactured. I really liked this. Her voice sounds strong and pure from the first note. She is able to hit high notes, with power, that I am not sure any of the other girls can hit. This was an excellent song choice for her. The judges don't seem to love the vocal quite as much as I did, but I think Carly made the degree of difficulty seem lower than it really was.

E.K.: Also, this was the first time that I have been really attracted to Carly. She looked fantastic; well, except for her outfit which once again did not score. I don't think her wardrobe will have an effect on how long she stays, but I would like to see her wearing something other than that tries to make her look frumpy. Hey, Smooth!

Smooth: Yo!

E.K.: What say you about Syesha Mercado this day?

Smooth: Well, her voice sounded weak at the beginning, perhaps because she was following Carly, but it got a little better from there. Her range seems limited, as I think her voice wavers on the lower notes and she strays from the pitch slightly on higher notes. She has pretty good control and nice tone, but this wasn't a great song choice for her. She also tends to stare into the camera a lot. Acting! Genius!

E.K.: I still can't see what the judges did that made them pick her to go this far. She hasn't yet connected with me as an American Idol viewer, and I need to see more. Two more things: 1) I don't ever want to hear a baby cry, so why would I want to her your impression of a baby crying? 2) It's always distracting when a song is sung by the gender that it was not originally written for; case in point, Wednesday's "Me and Mr. Jones"...it just sounds so contrived that I can't get past it.

Smooth: Now to Brooke White. She may be a beauty school dropout, but whoever does the hair and makeup for A.I. must have actually graduated, because Brooke looks way better than last week, nowhere near as pale and washed out. She had a guitar out (she played the piano as well during Hollywood week, I believe) and her vocal sounded good. Hey, I never noticed her passing resemblance to Carly Simon until now. She was a little smiley during the performance (the song should have more of an edge to it). This didn't blow me away, but it fits in with what Brooke does best.

E.K.: I love Brooke.

Smooth: So why dontcha marry her???

E.K.: I might...if she weren't already married. She is a beautiful girl with the sweetest of personalities, so right away she's a winner. She wasn't all that great last week, so she needed something good this week, and she got it; her performance of "You're So Vain" took her way back up myA.I. ladder. I only wish she would have stayed with it just being her and her guitar, because when the band kicked in, her voice got lost for a couple of seconds here and there; I wanted to hear more of her raw vocals. It wasn't perfect, but it seemed genuine, and I am glad Simon loved it. Now let's review Ramiele Mulabay: And this one was distressing to me, because first of all, how many times do I need to hear "Don't Leave Me This Way" before they'll officially retire it? Had she pulled it off, this would have been a stellar song choice; it has a ballad opening and then segues into disco, which kills two birds with one Sly Stone (bad pun, I know). But she didn't nail it, at least the disco-vocal part.

Smooth: She is seriously four feet tall. I like this song, and Ramiele did well with the slower parts. She just can't keep up with the faster bits, and gets a little shouty. It's not awful, but this just isn't Ramiele's oeuvre.

E.K.: Did you just say "oeuvre"?

Smooth: I did.

E.K.: That word starts with three vowels.

Smooth: Ummm...you are correct.

E.K.: Just so you know.

Smooth: I do like Ramiele's voice quite a bit, but she just can't pull off the disco diva stuff. Next up was Kristy Lee Cook, and wow, she's a tomboy? SO SURPRISING! I like how she seems to think she is the only tomboy in the universe. America, there are also smart people in Oregon. I will point out that Kristy is in a rather clingy top, which I enjoy. Why do they curl her hair for the stage, though? Her voice is fine, even good, but she does absolutely nothing special. Also, she is doing her weird squat dance thing. She definitely needs to embrace the country genre and just try and capture that demographic if she wants to stay around for long.

E.K. The best part was the top she was sporting. Although a cute girl, she hadn't looked particularly feminine in a sexy way until this week. Props to the outfitters who picked that shirt for her. Having said that, her vocals were just flat. She did not rise to the occasion at all here. There needs to be some sort of stronger vocal to this song; you can't just get all the notes right and hope to make an impact. I'll agree that she should try country next week, or as soon as she can.

Smooth: Next we have Amanda Overmyer. I thought this was a bizarre song choice as soon as it started, and it turned out very badly. I did not like anything about this performance. She looked terrible and had a scared look on her face. She sounded awful throughout. The verses were pitchy and she went for some power notes later and missed them badly. I fully agree with Simon that she seems charming in her interviews, but very off-putting on stage. Her singing voice somehow is more nasal, more heavily accented, and more mumbly than her speaking voice.

E.K.: I hated this performance. Everything about it was just weird, from the badly-placed vocals to Amanda's dancing to her hair -- I thought of Stripe from Gremlins -- to the instrumental breaks which are always awkward. Amanda seems to be stuck in that trap of I-Do-One-Genre-and-I-Hope-You-Like-It-And-Vote-For-Me-Based-On-That-And-By-The-Way-It's-A-Skunk-Looking-Human-Singing-Loudly. And I can tell you I will not vote for her. (Of course, I have never voted for any A.I. contestant ever, so no big loss for her.) I haven't liked her yet.

Smooth: I liked Alaina Whitaker's video clip because she showed off an eccentricity that was endearing, and in some ways displayed more about her personality than something like "I am a tomboy". She didn't do well with the song. It's boring. She kind of "scooped" her way into some of the notes, and it doesn't sound great. Another performance tonight where someone with a pretty good voice underachieved.

E.K. I thought it was dreadful. I figured Alaina would be in danger of being voted out this week. I don't think it's because she's not good; she sounds fine...sometimes, that is. This week, she did not. It was pitchy and all over the place. As for the blowout notes, the only things blown out were my eardrums. Ouch! I will say though that I felt really sad for her when she was voted out. Definitely the most emotional departure any contestant has ever had. I'm glad she got it together to sing one last time. Here comes Alexandrea Lushington to help out.

Smooth: She looks pretty. But weird song choices abounded this night. I think she did pretty well with it, though. I think I may have underestimated her voice in the past, because she sounded quite good here. She lost some power in her higher range, but overall I like her tone and she mostly stays on pitch. I worry about her because I think she has a lot to offer but this wasn't the type of performance that drums up votes.

E.K. I thought this performance was one of the worst we've seen this season, and maybe of anyone who has gone this far before. She had on this ridiculous tomboy outfit, complete with hooded-sweatshirt and what not. And it just seemed like she had woken up five minutes before air, grabbed whatever clothes were closest, and said, hey band, just play something by Chicago. She was off-key, pitchy, out of tune, you name it. Just simply, one of the worst. But I did like her sense of humor: She obviously knew how bad she was, and when Randy asked her what she thought of her performance, Alexandrea took a second and then casually asked, "Ummm...it's over?" It's a bit poignant when the singer hates her performance more than you the viewer does. But that was a great way to admit defeat. Let's move on to Britney Spears...errr, Kady Malloy, the girl who imitates Britney Spears: Did she stumble on the stairs as she walked down to the stage?

Smooth: I think Kady's been hitting the self-tanner or something because she looks kind of orange. Her hair looks stringy, too. I can barely hear her as the song begins but what I can hear doesn't sound good. She does some things with the melody that I think are on purpose but makes it sound like she's just missing the notes. Her voice is strange in that it's inconsistent, sounding noticeably throatier at times. I haven't liked either of her performances thus far.

E.K.: Nor have I. The key just didn't work well with her voice. She couldn't shine and she just seemed out of breath at times. I actually fast-forwarded through the second half of this song, and I never do that during the live shows. It was completely dreadful.

Smooth: With the straightened hair, Asia'h looked totally different, and I'm not sure it's a good thing because it's less distinctive than her usual look. Most of this performance was pretty damn rough. She was really pitchy at the beginning and obviously had a bad break in her voice on one note. She picked it up a little and manages to hit the two big glory notes in the second half of the song, but it was not enough to salvage the performance.

E.K.: I thought it sounded like she knew right away that she wasn't going to hit the high notes and that she was dreading their appearance throughout. She looked very uncomfortable. However, she still looked spectacularly gorgeous, I thought. That smile was still there. Well...it's late. I must get to bed.

Smooth: Good night, sir.

E.K.: Ta-ta.