Tuesday, January 22, 2008
NORV TURNER...WOW!
Pop quiz, hot shot:
It is the championship game of the American Football Conference. You are coaching the San Diego Chargers. The Chargers trail by nine points with nine minutes and 21 seconds remaining in the fourth quarter. Your team faces fourth-down-and-10 at the Patriots' 36-yard line.
Whaddaya do?
Now, remember, it's you dear reader, doing the coaching in this not-so-hypothetical situation. If you read this blog, you are clearly a sensible, thoughtful, rational, sane human being (that's my story and I am sticking to it). You know what you would do. You're playing the Patriots, a team that hasn't lost all year, that has you by two scores, and that is more than capable of running six or seven minutes off the clock the next time it has the ball; basically, that is the greatest team in the history of the National Football League, and thus, the history of time. You need to score at least one touchdown and get one more score before time runs out in order to have a shot at going to the Super Bowl.
Whaddaya do?
You dear reader, will keep your offense on the field and try to gain at least ten yards on your next play. You have to.
What does Norv Turner do?
He sends in the punting unit, and the ensuing punt travels 23 yards downfield where it is caught by a Patriot, and now the Patriots have the ball, and thus, the Chargers are still nine points behind with just over nine minutes left.
Now, I do not believe in any gods, but I'm going to phrase it this way because there are few ways to better express the urgency and the incredulity, so here goes, and listen up close, Coach Turner:
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY, WHAT THE $%#@*&%# ARE YOU DOING???!!!???!!!
You punted??? Why???
I can't even call you coach without putting it in quotation marks anymore, so, "Coach" Norv Turner, you should be fired immediately for that single act alone. Even if you were Vince Lombardi, I would have fired you on the spot. If you were Bill Walsh, your office would have been emptied by the time you got back into the clubhouse. If you were Bill Belichick or Don Shula or Paul Brown, it wouldn't matter, you would no longer have a job in my football organization.
It absolutely boggles the mind. I simply have no more words.
Oh, wait, yes I do:
The Patriots held the ball for the remaining nine minutes of the game. The Chargers never got the ball back again.
It is the championship game of the American Football Conference. You are coaching the San Diego Chargers. The Chargers trail by nine points with nine minutes and 21 seconds remaining in the fourth quarter. Your team faces fourth-down-and-10 at the Patriots' 36-yard line.
Whaddaya do?
Now, remember, it's you dear reader, doing the coaching in this not-so-hypothetical situation. If you read this blog, you are clearly a sensible, thoughtful, rational, sane human being (that's my story and I am sticking to it). You know what you would do. You're playing the Patriots, a team that hasn't lost all year, that has you by two scores, and that is more than capable of running six or seven minutes off the clock the next time it has the ball; basically, that is the greatest team in the history of the National Football League, and thus, the history of time. You need to score at least one touchdown and get one more score before time runs out in order to have a shot at going to the Super Bowl.
Whaddaya do?
You dear reader, will keep your offense on the field and try to gain at least ten yards on your next play. You have to.
What does Norv Turner do?
He sends in the punting unit, and the ensuing punt travels 23 yards downfield where it is caught by a Patriot, and now the Patriots have the ball, and thus, the Chargers are still nine points behind with just over nine minutes left.
Now, I do not believe in any gods, but I'm going to phrase it this way because there are few ways to better express the urgency and the incredulity, so here goes, and listen up close, Coach Turner:
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY, WHAT THE $%#@*&%# ARE YOU DOING???!!!???!!!
You punted??? Why???
I can't even call you coach without putting it in quotation marks anymore, so, "Coach" Norv Turner, you should be fired immediately for that single act alone. Even if you were Vince Lombardi, I would have fired you on the spot. If you were Bill Walsh, your office would have been emptied by the time you got back into the clubhouse. If you were Bill Belichick or Don Shula or Paul Brown, it wouldn't matter, you would no longer have a job in my football organization.
It absolutely boggles the mind. I simply have no more words.
Oh, wait, yes I do:
The Patriots held the ball for the remaining nine minutes of the game. The Chargers never got the ball back again.
