Wednesday, December 12, 2007
I KNEW ARTHUR BLANK WAS GOING TO GET LAMBASTED
More on this Monday Night Football's broadcast: I was watching when Falcons owner Arthur Blank joined the broadcast team in the booth for some comments about Michael Vick and what he faces once he gets out of his much-deserved-but-way-too-short prison term. Blank speculated that Vick might miss three seasons -- the rest of 2007, plus 2008 and 2009 -- and then added:
But I didn't cringe because it's a racist statement.
I cringed because I knew there would be at least a few moronic blowhards who would call it a racist statement.
First of all, let me say this: If you heard Blank's comments and immediately thought, "Oh, my god, he said Vick's gonna eat fried chicken! What a racist statement!", then that says more about you than it does about Blank. Why did you immediately think of black people as a specific race that eats fried chicken?
But let's get beyond that: Blank was clearly referring to fried chicken as a food that someone might not want to eat a lot of if he hopes to stay in shape to play in the NFL, particularly a speedy quarterback who does a lot of running and darting and zig-zagging on the field. Note that he also said "fries", another such food one would want to avoid. Two foods, both had the word "fried" or a variation on that word. Newsflash for those who still don't get it: Fried foods are not healthful. And that was his point.
Remember Fuzzy Zoeller's comment after Tiger Woods won his first Masters in 1997? It's tradition for the winner to choose what goes on the menu at the following year's Masters banquet. Keeping that in mind, Zoeller said, about what to say to Woods after his victory: "Pat him on the back, say congratulations, and tell him not to serve fried chicken next year, or collard greens or whatever the hell they serve."
Let's outline where that one got racist. Starting again:
"Whatever they hell they serve." Now, I've heard the clip of him saying that. And it sounds like he's trying to joke around. Admittedly, it isn't a humorous statement. But here's the deal: Whether he's trying to be funny or not, he is dismissing what he thinks is a meal that some other race would eat and that he wants no part of it. That is what makes what Zoeller said racist.
Arthur Blank was not being racist when he said that if Michael Vick eats unhealthfully while in prison, he could be grossly unfit to play quarterback again. And that's basically what he said. We're supposed to assume that he said that, the way we're supposed to assume that when the Russian sub occupants in The Hunt For Red October suddenly go from speaking Russian to English, they're not really speaking English; it's just a film-making device to make it easier for those who don't like subtitles. Blank could have said pizza. He could have said cookies. He could have said cigarettes, even. He made reference to two fried foods that are not good for you if eaten every day.
I got what he meant. And if you thought he was being racist, you are probably the racist one. I love fried chicken, and I'm white. I don't really know personally any white meat-eaters among my friend group that don't like fried chicken. Fried chicken is not a black-people food. And shame on you, complainer, for thinking that it is. Or for thinking that black people should be ashamed to eat fried chicken in the first place!
Now, on to bigger and better things: the picks for Week 15!
THURSDAY NIGHT (team listed first is the pick, home team in caps)
If he doesn't watch himself, he could eat a lot of fried chicken and fries in prison, come out at 250 pounds, he's not going to be the same athlete he was.When he said this, I cringed.
But I didn't cringe because it's a racist statement.
I cringed because I knew there would be at least a few moronic blowhards who would call it a racist statement.
First of all, let me say this: If you heard Blank's comments and immediately thought, "Oh, my god, he said Vick's gonna eat fried chicken! What a racist statement!", then that says more about you than it does about Blank. Why did you immediately think of black people as a specific race that eats fried chicken?
But let's get beyond that: Blank was clearly referring to fried chicken as a food that someone might not want to eat a lot of if he hopes to stay in shape to play in the NFL, particularly a speedy quarterback who does a lot of running and darting and zig-zagging on the field. Note that he also said "fries", another such food one would want to avoid. Two foods, both had the word "fried" or a variation on that word. Newsflash for those who still don't get it: Fried foods are not healthful. And that was his point.
Remember Fuzzy Zoeller's comment after Tiger Woods won his first Masters in 1997? It's tradition for the winner to choose what goes on the menu at the following year's Masters banquet. Keeping that in mind, Zoeller said, about what to say to Woods after his victory: "Pat him on the back, say congratulations, and tell him not to serve fried chicken next year, or collard greens or whatever the hell they serve."
Let's outline where that one got racist. Starting again:
Pat him on the back, say congratulations,Okay so far.
and tell him not to serve fried chicken next year,Easy now. Not yet.
or collard greens,Wait for it...
or whatever the hell they serve.Yahtzee!
"Whatever they hell they serve." Now, I've heard the clip of him saying that. And it sounds like he's trying to joke around. Admittedly, it isn't a humorous statement. But here's the deal: Whether he's trying to be funny or not, he is dismissing what he thinks is a meal that some other race would eat and that he wants no part of it. That is what makes what Zoeller said racist.
Arthur Blank was not being racist when he said that if Michael Vick eats unhealthfully while in prison, he could be grossly unfit to play quarterback again. And that's basically what he said. We're supposed to assume that he said that, the way we're supposed to assume that when the Russian sub occupants in The Hunt For Red October suddenly go from speaking Russian to English, they're not really speaking English; it's just a film-making device to make it easier for those who don't like subtitles. Blank could have said pizza. He could have said cookies. He could have said cigarettes, even. He made reference to two fried foods that are not good for you if eaten every day.
I got what he meant. And if you thought he was being racist, you are probably the racist one. I love fried chicken, and I'm white. I don't really know personally any white meat-eaters among my friend group that don't like fried chicken. Fried chicken is not a black-people food. And shame on you, complainer, for thinking that it is. Or for thinking that black people should be ashamed to eat fried chicken in the first place!
Now, on to bigger and better things: the picks for Week 15!
THURSDAY NIGHT (team listed first is the pick, home team in caps)
HOUSTON (pick) over Denver.SATURDAY NIGHT:
Cincinnati (-8.5) over San Francisco.SUNDAY MORNING:
NEW ORLEANS (-3.5) over Arizona.SUNDAY AFTERNOON:
TAMPA BAY (-11.5) over Atlanta.
MIAMI (+3.5) over Baltimore.
CLEVELAND (-5.5) over Buffalo.
ST. LOUIS (+10.5) over Green Bay.
PITTSBURGH (-3.5) over JACKSONVILLE.
N.Y. Jets (+24.5) over New England.
SEATTLE (-7.5) over Carolina.
Tennessee (-4) over KANSAS CITY.
Indianapolis (-10) over OAKLAND.SUNDAY NIGHT:
SAN DIEGO (-10) over Detroit.
DALLAS (-10.5) over Philadelphia.
N.Y. GIANTS (-4.5) over Washington.MONDAY NIGHT:
MINNESOTA (-10) over CHICAGO.Last Week: 11-5 once again, for a record of 79-49-4 this year.
