E.K. NATION

Ed.: I don't have access to the Wednesday Oregonian spreads yet, but I have a pretty good indication of whom to pick, using other lines from other sources. The Oregonian spreads will be the official ones.

Ed.: Okay, the spreads are up now.

THURSDAY (team listed first is the pick, home team in caps)

DALLAS (-7) over Green Bay. Looks like a shootout is coming, and 41-31 isn't out of the question. Homefield again plays a role for Dallas.

SUNDAY MORNING:

WASHINGTON (-5.5) over Buffalo. Again, the Bills aren't good at scoring. But the deal here is that the Redskins will have an emotional fire going after the loss of their teammate Sean Taylor. The Skins should romp.
San Diego (-5) over KANSAS CITY. The Chiefs looked good early, but maybe that was because the AFC West is so bad. San Diego should easily win.
MINNESOTA (-3.5) vs. Detroit. Just as the Chiefs have come back to Earth, so have the Lions.
TENNESSEE (-4) over Houston. I guess it's just a matter of Home Team Wins here.
Jacksonville (+7) over INDIANAPOLIS. The Jaguars are strong, playing well and scoring a lot lately. They'll keep up with Indy.
ST. LOUIS (-4.5) over Atlanta. The Rams are much improved. The Falcons are just horrible, even when they manage wins.
MIAMI (-1) over N.Y. Jets. Someone on ESPN or somewhere wondered if the 1976 Buccaneers would break open the light beer if Miami won. I think if there were a week the Dolphins could prevent a record 0-16 year, it's now, at home against the Jets.
Seattle (+3) over PHILADELPHIA. Tough one to call due to the uncertainty of the Eagles' QB situation, even with A.J. Feeley's keeping Philly in the game against the Pats until the end. Due to their near-upset win at Foxboro, I think the Eagles might be a bit overvalued here.
San Francisco (+3) over CAROLINA. Wait, let me read my pick again...ummm...wow, I guess I did pick the 49ers to cover. I think I need to take my temperature.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON:

Tampa Bay (+3) over NEW ORLEANS. The Bucs are playing well and the Saints are spotty. Gotta go with the trend.
Cleveland (+1) over ARIZONA. The Browns are much better than the Cards and are undervalued yet again.
OAKLAND (+3.5) over Denver. I don't trust the Broncos much. This could come down to a field goal.
N.Y. Giants (-2) over CHICAGO. I admit: I flipped a coin on this one.

SUNDAY NIGHT:

PITTSBURGH (-7) over Cincinnati. The Steelers just might score a few more points this week than they did on Monday. Just might.

MONDAY NIGHT:

New England (-20.5) over BALTIMORE. They're still the Patriots. Can't go against them. That might not happen for the rest of the year.

Last Week: 11-5, for a record of 57-39-4 this year. I am not a cooler, no matter what anyone says. (2-1 on Sure Lock Fires for a record of 13-7-2.)

THANKSGIVING DAY (team listed first is the pick, home team in caps)

GREEN BAY (-3.5) over Detroit. If Detroit were still playing well I might go that way. But Favre & Co. are too strong right now.
DALLAS (-14) over N.Y. Jets. ***SURE LOCK FIRE*** The Jets are horrible, and in Dallas I gotta go with the Boys. Dallas in a laugher.
Indianapolis (-12) over ATLANTA. The Colts will get back on track after some spotty play.

SUNDAY MORNING:

ST. LOUIS (+3) over Seattle. Don't look now, but the Rams are on a winning streak. Gotta think they have more confidence right now.
JACKSONVILLE (7.5) over Buffalo. ***SURE LOCK FIRE*** The Bills just aren't good at scoring. The only teams with fewer points are the Chiefs, Falcons, Rams and 49ers. That's the opposite of good.
New Orleans (-3.5) over CAROLINA. The Panthers have QB problems. The Saints will get back on track.
CLEVELAND (-3) over Houston. This spread is too small. Do the oddsmakers know something I don't?
N.Y. GIANTS (-5.5) over Minnesota.
CINCINNATI (-2) over Tennessee. I guess this would be an upset, eh?
Oakland (+5.5) over KANSAS CITY. I'll go with the veteran Culpepper over Croyle.
TAMPA BAY (-4.5) over Washington. Again, I'll take the veteran Garcia over Campbell. The Skins have a hard time closing games out.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON:

ARIZONA (-10) over San Francisco. ***SURE LOCK FIRE*** It's the 49ers!!!!
CHICAGO (-2.5) over Denver. A short week for the Broncos and playing in Chicago might spell trouble for Denver.
SAN DIEGO (-9) over Baltimore. The Chargers must have this game. LT should take advantage of the Ravens' run D, and the Ravens don't have any QB power to take advantage of the Chargers' weak pass D.

SUNDAY NIGHT:

NEW ENGLAND (-22) over Philadelphia. Some books in Vegas have taken the Pats off the board, it's gotten so ridiculous. But this is a 22-point spread. I'd like to think the Eagles are professional enough to keep it close. But if New England scores 50, Philly would have to score 29, and I don't think that can happen. I gotta go with the Patriots.

MONDAY NIGHT:

PITTSBURGH (-16) over Miami. Flex schedule, anyone? Congrats, ESPN. The prospects of this game look very ugly.

SUNDAY MORNING: (team listed first is the pick)

JACKSONVILLE (-3) vs. San Diego. ***SURE LOCK FIRE*** Thinking that Taylor and Jones-Drew can tear up the S.D. run defense.
INDIANAPOLIS (-15) vs. Kansas City. The Colts can't lose three straight. It's just a matter of winning by how much?
MINNESOTA (-5) vs. Oakland. A pretty crappy matchup, to be sure.
Cleveland (-3) at BALTIMORE. The old Browns beat the "new Browns".
Tampa Bay (-3) at ATLANTA. T-Bay actually has a division title in its sights.
CINCINNATI (-3.5) vs. Arizona. The Bengals (somewhat) got back on track last week. Well, at least they won.
PHILADELPHIA (-10) vs. Miami. ***SURE LOCK FIRE*** I don't see John Beck keeping the Fins close.
HOUSTON (pick) vs. New Orleans. This one could be 35-33.
Carolina (+10) at GREEN BAY. I just don't like the double-digit spreads. Too much for pros.
N.Y. Giants (-3) at DETROIT. Kitna's going to have trouble against the Giants D-line.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON:

N.Y. JETS (+10) vs. Pittsburgh. ***SURE LOCK FIRE*** The Steelers often play down to their opponents. Could be a Jets upset win. Actually, I'll go ahead and call it: Jets win, baby.
DALLAS (-11.5) vs. Washington. I know, I know, it's a double-digit spread. But I can't see the Skins winning this one at all; can you?
St. Louis (-3) at SAN FRANCISCO. ***SURE LOCK FIRE*** I usually have three Sure Lock Fires but I'll make it four for this week. It's the 49ers!!!!!
SEATTLE (-5.5) vs. Chicago. Sexy Rexy's back. Since I despise the phrase "'Nuff said", I won't use it here, but it's what I meant.

SUNDAY NIGHT:

BUFFALO (+16) vs. New England. I don't know why, but if the Patriots are going to lose one game, I'm thinking it's this one. You never know when a surprise will happen.

MONDAY NIGHT:

Tennessee (+2) at DENVER. I just have a little more faith in the Titans.

Last Week: 9-4-1 making it 38-28-2 on the year. (2-0-1 on Sure Lock Fires for a season record of 8-6-1.)

We call this a Brokeback Mountain game, because there's so much penetration and kickouts.

--Phil Jackson

Really? A Brokeback Mountain joke? What, is it 2005 already?

Look, there shouldn't be so much controversy over this joke. It really shouldn't be all that offensive. The only question is, why isn't it a Basic Instinct joke? There was certainly penetration involved in that story too. I guess it's because a lot of people think gay jokes are funny automatically. Guess what? They're not. But it got a laugh anyway, I hope because people were caught off-guard by it and not because it was a finely crafted quip. I mean, I know the writers are on strike, but please.

But then here came the "apology", courtesy of Jackson the next day:

It's poor humor. I deserve to be reprimanded by the NBA. If I've offended any horses, Texans, cowboys or gays, I apologize.

If by "I apologize" you mean "I do not apologize", I understand.

It's not a big deal. It's a bad joke, as you said.

But now, your apology has brought about the need for another apology, Phil: Brokeback Mountain was in Wyoming, not Texas! Sheesh! You think all Texans are gay, or that all cowboys are Texans? (Or that all horses are gay?) There's nothing wrong with a gay Wyomingan cowboy! (Or Wyomingian? Wyominger? Wyomingonain? Wyomingander?) You owe an apology, sir, and as soon as I figure out just whom you owe it too, I'll let you know!

Look out, Ducks: I'm a Cal fan from Portland who has resigned himself into rooting for the Oregon Ducks as they try to get into the BCS title game. I have to say, these Thursday night football games on ESPN are death for the favorites, or at least they seem to be, anyway. Should I call it right here? Okay, here we go:

Arizona 34, Oregon 31.

Another #2 bites the dust.

SUNDAY MORNING:

Jacksonville (+4) at TENNESSEE. Just a hunch.
KANSAS CITY (-3) vs. Denver. Again, the Chiefs are stronger than you think. They almost had the Packers.
Buffalo (-3) at MIAMI. ***SURE LOCK FIRE*** Lee Evans alone will outscore the Dolphins. Despite him being on my fantasy team.
Cleveland (+10) at PITTSBURGH. I can see this one being 35-27. That's not a cover for Pitt.
St. Louis (+12) at NEW ORLEANS. I just don't like these double-digit spreads. Even if the Rams are the dog.
Minnesota (+6) at GREEN BAY. If Adrian has another big day it could use a lot of clock.
Atlanta (+4) at CAROLINA. ***SURE LOCK FIRE*** I can see a field goal deciding this one.
Philadelphia (+3) at Washington. Man, I'm picking a lot of road teams so far. Gotta stop that.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON:

BALTIMORE (-4) vs. Cincinnati. The Bengals are pretty bad.
OAKLAND (+3.5) vs. Chicago. I have no faith in the Bears.
Dallas (-2.5) at N.Y. GIANTS. If this is supposed to be the Super Bowl favorite game, I gotta go with the Boys.
ARIZONA (pick) vs. Detroit. The Lions are bad on the road.

SUNDAY NIGHT:

SAN DIEGO (+4) vs. Indianapolis. I think home field plays a role here.

MONDAY NIGHT:

SEATTLE (+10) vs. San Francisco. ***SURE LOCK FIRE*** It's the 49ers!!!

Last Week: 6-8 making it 29-24-1 on the year. (And 2-1 on Sure Lock Fires during the week. Up to 6-6 on those.)

Really, Don Shula?

The New England Patriots deserve to have an asterisk put by their 9-0 (and possibly 16-0) record because they cheated? Or by their Super Bowl wins? Come on.

Damn, I am sick and tired of people trying desperately to find reasons not to acknowledge the successes of someone else. Nobody wants to acknowledge Barry Bonds, nobody wants to pay the Patriots any compliments. And we need to drag their accomplishments down because we are jealous. (And by "we" I mean "you guys who do this.")

Look: Nobody goes through this life without cheating. Whenever I make a right turn on a red light and there are no cars coming my way, I don't make a full stop. And neither do you. Bicyclists never obey any of the rules of the road. And videotaping the opposing teams' signals is exactly like paying attention to their coach to see if you can read his lips when he's calling out plays. That's why they always put their play sheets up to their faces when they're talking. You know this. If it isn't illegal to read lips, it shouldn't be a scandal that the Pats taped the other teams' signals.

Christmas music in November?: Really?

Really?

If you need to get your Christmas-music-listening in this early, you really need to loosen up your schedule. My god, the decorations were up before Halloween! What is that all about?

If you want to consider December to be a month entirely about Christmas, go right ahead. But come on. October? November? Why must you look so far forward? Why not be in the moment?

Into The Wild: Go see this movie. Somewhat-unknown Emile Hirsch shines in this Sean Penn-directed film about a college grad who leaves his worldly possessions behind, changes his name from Christopher McCandless to Alexander Supertramp, and goes away with the ultimate goal of living off the land in Alaska. Oscar nominations are much deserved by Hirsch, Hal Holbrook, and Catherine Keener and Brian Dierker as a couple Hirsch meets along the way. Here's to hoping this film is remembered when the ballots are sent out.

*Because I figured you might look for the note that corresponds to the asterisk.

SUNDAY MORNING:

Washington (-4) at N.Y. JETS. The Jets are in shambles right now.
KANSAS CITY (-2) vs. Green Bay. Again, the Chiefs are stronger than you think. Trap game.
TAMPA BAY (-3.5) vs. Arizona. I like the Bucs' chances at home against AZ.
Carolina (+4) at TENNESSEE. Titans have covered just one out of their last four.
ATLANTA (-3) vs. San Francisco. It's the 49ers!!!
NEW ORLEANS (-3) vs. Jacksonville. ***SURE LOCK FIRE*** The Saints hit their stride last week (yes against the 49ers. And Quinn Gray starts for the Jags.
Denver (+3) at Detroit. Kitna's production has slowed, and Denver's doing OK.
BUFFALO (+1.5) vs. Cincinnati. Losman's back! It's a 10-9 game!
San Diego (-7.5) at Minnesota. ***SURE LOCK FIRE*** LaDainian will eclipse the Vikes' run defense.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON:

Seattle (+1.5) at CLEVELAND. Not sure I buy in to the Browns here.
OAKLAND (-3) vs. Houston. Rosenfels vs. McCown. Somebody's gotta show up.

SUNDAY NIGHT:

Dallas (-3.5) at PHILADELPHIA. ***SURE LOCK FIRE*** This is a must-win for Philly or else my Super Bowl pick is toast.

MONDAY NIGHT:

PITTSBURGH (-10) vs. Baltimore. I don't like to give this many points in the NFL, but when you think about it, 28-17 is enough to make it a cover.

And the GAME OF THE YEAR!!! Hype!! Hype!! Hoopla!! Hoopla!!:

New England (-6.5) at INDIANAPOLIS. It's just too damn difficult to go against the Pats. Final score: 28-21, Patriots.

Last Week: 9-3, not counting my prediction of a push in Denver, making it 23-16-1 on the year. (And 3-0 on Sure Lock Fires during the week, just like I promised. Up to 4-5 on those.)