Monday, August 6, 2007
BARRY BONDS IS SUPERHUMAN
Barry Bonds finally tied Hank Aaron's all-time record for home runs, with a mammoth opposite-field shot off Padres pitcher Clay Hensley in the second inning at Petco Park on Saturday evening.
Now, of the two players mentioned in the previous sentence, which one do you think once tested positive for steroids?
Answer here. But you don't really need to click on that link, do ya? I wouldn't ask the question if the answer weren't so full of ironicality.
In other words, Barry Bonds defied many laws of physics by actually hitting a baseball very far, over some fencing, a baseball that was thrown by a known cheater, someone who artificially bulked up his muscle mass in an attempt to, I dunno, become the strongest player in Major League Baseball history or something.
The home run still counts, right? I mean, there was cheating involved.
In related news, no one in the park booed Clay Hensley.
In other related news, as is typically the case, the home crowd booed the visiting Bonds...until he took his at-bats. Then all the flashbulbs went off with every pitch, and then he hit #755, and the people mostly cheered as he rounded the bases and accepted congratulations from his teammates and family. And the guy who wound up with the ball in the left-field stands held it aloft as though he had just pulled Excalibur from the stone.
Again, ya can't have it both ways, people.
In yet more related news, Bud Selig, in his Herculean effort to watch baseball games from a luxury box, will not be attending any of the three games at AT&T Park starting tonight.
Yeah, Bud, no need to be there in case the most hallowed record in all of sports is broken. You're only the commissioner.
Oh, did I have to mention I think Bud Selig is a schmuck?
Up next: #756, probably sometime against the Washington Nationals.
Now, of the two players mentioned in the previous sentence, which one do you think once tested positive for steroids?
Answer here. But you don't really need to click on that link, do ya? I wouldn't ask the question if the answer weren't so full of ironicality.
In other words, Barry Bonds defied many laws of physics by actually hitting a baseball very far, over some fencing, a baseball that was thrown by a known cheater, someone who artificially bulked up his muscle mass in an attempt to, I dunno, become the strongest player in Major League Baseball history or something.
The home run still counts, right? I mean, there was cheating involved.
In related news, no one in the park booed Clay Hensley.
In other related news, as is typically the case, the home crowd booed the visiting Bonds...until he took his at-bats. Then all the flashbulbs went off with every pitch, and then he hit #755, and the people mostly cheered as he rounded the bases and accepted congratulations from his teammates and family. And the guy who wound up with the ball in the left-field stands held it aloft as though he had just pulled Excalibur from the stone.
Again, ya can't have it both ways, people.
In yet more related news, Bud Selig, in his Herculean effort to watch baseball games from a luxury box, will not be attending any of the three games at AT&T Park starting tonight.
Yeah, Bud, no need to be there in case the most hallowed record in all of sports is broken. You're only the commissioner.
Oh, did I have to mention I think Bud Selig is a schmuck?
Up next: #756, probably sometime against the Washington Nationals.
