E.K. NATION

Okay, so what we got in return for Armando Benitez in yesterday's trade with the Marlins might not be fireworks-worthy. After all, the guy we picked up, Randy Messenger, is 1) a pitcher, when we really needed a bat more, and 2) a pitcher with a career ERA of almost 5.00 at that. But Armando, even when he saves games, is 1) a complete gas can, and 2) the reason I am rapidly balding, and so I welcome with open arms to my favorite team of all-time, Randy Messenger.

Good luck, Florida. I am reminded of that scene in the brilliant Albert Brooks film Defending Your Life, where he dies and goes to Judgment City to take part in a trial about his life in a courtroom, and they show the video of poor decisions he made in his life ("Some of them fear-based, some of them, just stupid," the prosecutor says), and in one clip he drives off in a used car, and once he's out of sight, the two car salesman laugh hysterically and pat each other on the back. But then again, Albert didn't exactly know the car was a lemon. The Marlins simply have to know what they're getting into. I guess they're banking on Armando returning to the form he was in when he was with them previously. Or maybe they think being nine games back is enough to throw caution to the wind. Well, they haven't made Benitez the closer; they're still going with Kevin Gregg. No poor decision there; Gregg's 1.99 with a perfect six-for-six in saves so far.