E.K. NATION

First, a whole slew of articles about Giants from ESPN's Page 2...

A thing from Jeff Pearlman on where Barry Zito went...

A thing from Jemele Hill on why Barry Bonds deserves a spot on the All-Star team...

And some remembrances of Rod Beck, who died over the weekend at the ridiculous age of 38 years, here, here, here, and here...

And some non-kudos to ESPN for giving us something called the win probability percentage during the College World Series. It's 5-2 in the 3rd, and they're displaying a graphic: Oregon State is such-and-such percent to win the game? Are they kidding us? This isn't poker. Knock it off, silly people. But anyway, congrats to the Beavers, who rolled to their second straight CWS title with a two-game sweep over North Carolina this past weekend. It really was one of the more dominating performances in recent years in the CWS, and I'm not just saying that because they, like me, are from Oregon. It's because it's correct. They trailed for just one-half inning the entire Series, and took the final two games by scores of 11-4 and 9-3. Ridiculous!

And because it's Wimbledon time, and Maria Sharapova has already won at least one match, a whole slew of Maria Sharapova swimsuit pictures...You go, girl. You go.

To the shittiest NBA Finals ever.

Let's all get drunk.

I love no-hitters. In fact, there are always two sad moments during every major league baseball game I attend, or even watch on TV, for that matter: The moment when the first team to get a hit gets a hit, and then the moment when the other team gets its first hit. Congrats, Tiger fans who were at the game last night; you have accomplished one of my life's goals without me, namely to see a no-hitter in person. With that, here is the last inning:

And as is tradition here in E.K. Nation, we must defrock the reigning E.K. Nation's Next Pitcher To Throw A No-Hitter with sadness, because, as is also tradition, he failed to throw a no-hitter. Shame on you, Johan Santana. A new one must be appointed. Dan Haren of the Oakland Athletics, you are on the clock.

Quick survey, because something is not right.

Which three of the following six cities would you most likely expect the Stanley Cup to pay a visit to?

A. Anaheim, California
B. Calgary, Alberta
C. Edmonton, Alberta
D. Ottawa, Ontario
E. Raleigh, North Carolina
F. Tampa, Florida

Of course. B, C, and D. Cupcake, right?

The last three Stanley Cup Finals have featured the three teams listed above from the southern United States defeating the three teams listed above from Canada. It's just not right and something's gotta be done about it. Let's go, Canucks. Come on, Maple Leafs (and why it's not "Leaves" I do not know). We'd settle for Minnesota. Certainly Colorado would be a good selection; I mean it actually snows there, I've heard.

Although I still give credit where credit is due. The Anaheim Ducks won it, and they deserve it. Now: No more teams named after Disney movies winning the hockey hardware, okay? I don't care that they aren't the Mighty Ducks anymore. My complaint counts.

Our (sometimes) beloved Portland Trail Blazers won their first and only NBA championship 30 years ago today. Did I see the final game? Nope. My dad and his friends were cheering so loudly every time the Blazers scored that I had to leave the room. Thanks a lot, guys. Dammit.

Okay, so what we got in return for Armando Benitez in yesterday's trade with the Marlins might not be fireworks-worthy. After all, the guy we picked up, Randy Messenger, is 1) a pitcher, when we really needed a bat more, and 2) a pitcher with a career ERA of almost 5.00 at that. But Armando, even when he saves games, is 1) a complete gas can, and 2) the reason I am rapidly balding, and so I welcome with open arms to my favorite team of all-time, Randy Messenger.

Good luck, Florida. I am reminded of that scene in the brilliant Albert Brooks film Defending Your Life, where he dies and goes to Judgment City to take part in a trial about his life in a courtroom, and they show the video of poor decisions he made in his life ("Some of them fear-based, some of them, just stupid," the prosecutor says), and in one clip he drives off in a used car, and once he's out of sight, the two car salesman laugh hysterically and pat each other on the back. But then again, Albert didn't exactly know the car was a lemon. The Marlins simply have to know what they're getting into. I guess they're banking on Armando returning to the form he was in when he was with them previously. Or maybe they think being nine games back is enough to throw caution to the wind. Well, they haven't made Benitez the closer; they're still going with Kevin Gregg. No poor decision there; Gregg's 1.99 with a perfect six-for-six in saves so far.