E.K. NATION

Seven wins in a row now, and the Giants have valuted into a second-place tie in the N.L. West, just a game behind the Dodgers. Did I just say that? Seven wins in a row. Holy cow. And Barry's now up to 741 home runs. He is in some kind of groove. I imagined he wouldn't make it to Hank Aaron's record until maybe August, but he might make it in early June.

By the way, was it just me or did Barry's home run trot get quite a bit faster while inside Dodger Stadium? Do Dodger fans care enough to throw stuff at him or something?

As a writer (and I use the term "writer" loosely, especially today), I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge the life and death of one of the greats of our time, David Halberstam. When I was maybe ten years old I read The Breaks Of The Game, which featured an in-depth look at an entire season of the Portland Trail Blazers. At the time I didn't know Halberstam wasn't specifically a sportswriter but a man who covered a wide variety of topics. And everything I have read from his pen was written exceptionally.

Rest easy, sir. You did some great work.

Just another day in the first few weeks of Alex Rodriguez's season.

Some things for a Friday:

• The NBA playoffs are upon us. With that, I offer my completely useless predictions:

• Every single series in the West, through the conference finals, will go exactly six games. Dallas will beat Golden State, Utah will beat Houston, Denver will beat San Antonio, and Phoenix will beat the Lakers. The Mavericks will take down the Jazz while Phoenix will beat Denver. Dallas will beat the Suns to advance to the Finals. Over in the East, the Pistons will take down Orlando in five, Miami will beat Chicago in six, Toronto will beat New Jersey in seven, and the Cavaliers will beat the Wizards in seven. Detroit over Miami in five, Cleveland over Toronto in seven. And Detroit returns to the Finals for the third time in four seasons, taking down LeBron and Co. in seven. In the Finals, Dallas will sweep Detroit for its first-ever NBA title. For the record, I chose Miami to beat Phoenix in the Finals in the pre-season predictions. Yeah, those are abandoned.

• The University of Oregon is offering a Keanu Reeves film and lecture series. Take one step forward if you understand why this is happening. Not so fast, me.

• On Bill Simmons' ESPN blog, he offers up a suggestion from a reader that the 1985 NBA draft lottery was fixed in order to give Patrick Ewing, the draft's marquee player, to big-market New York. And you know what? It's not out of the realm of possibilities. I'll quote a bit of it right here, because I don't think there's a link yet to the actual page of this entry:

[W]hen an accountant from Ernst & Whinney throws the seven envelopes into the glass drum, he bangs the fourth one against the side of the drum to create a creased corner...At the 5:23 mark of the clip, Stern heads over to the drum, unlocks it and awkwardly reaches inside for the first envelope (the No. 1 pick). He grabs three envelopes that are bunched together, pretends not to look (although he does) and flips the three envelopes so the one on the bottom ends up in his hand. Then he pulls that envelope out at the 5:32 mark ... and, of course, it's the Knicks envelope...

A reader named Greg K. from Fair Lawn, N.J. (I'd give you his whole name, but I don't want him to be randomly found dead in his bathtub tonight), pointed this out to me: If you look closely right at the 5:31 mark, right as the commish yanks that Knicks envelope out, there's a noticeable crease in the corner of the envelope. You can see it for a split-second -- as he pulls the envelope up, it's on the corner that's pointing toward the bottom of the jar.

There's a giant crease! It's right there! The same one the accountant created as he was throwing the envelopes into the drum!

Here's the clip:

Vehhhh-ry interesting...

• Finally, I try not to dwell on tragic things on this blog. Up until now I have intentionally avoided discussing the events at Virginia Tech, because to be honest, things like that are not what I want this blog to be about. But I figure if somebody who has not yet seen this uplifting clip from a rally on the Virginia Tech campus might feel better about the whole thing after seeing it, then there is no reason not to link him or her to it.

Mark Buehrle faced the minimum of 27 batters in last night's ballgame. Here's the last inning. No-hitters are special!

Tim Hudson, E.K. Nation's Next Pitcher To Throw A No-Hitter, failed in his attempt to become the next pitcher to throw a no-hitter. In his defense, he had only about a month and a half's worth of baseball season to do so. But no matter, he must leave his post and a new pitcher will come in. And that pitcher is none other than Johan Santana of the Minnesota Twins. As good a candidate as there will ever be, I suppose.

Good things are fantastic. The Giants are the opposite of great right now, so let's once again rely on the Inter-Webs for some entertainment. While stewing over the Giants blowing last night's 3-0 lead and losing to the Rockies, I stumbled upon this clip of the last few seconds of the 2002 Texas 5A state championship game. Half-court buzzer-beaters to win championships are fun. So let's discuss that instead of the Giants.

And what the hell...here's another one, this time a full-court shot from Utah. Ain't the World Wide InterNets excellent?

And another one, from a girls' game somewhere. Ridiculous!

Fire Joe Morgan is a brilliant site. If you've never seen it, and you hate stupid announcers and broadcasters and writers, go there. Go there now. This latest analysis of Joe Morgan's "analysis" is very entertaining and is probably the best example of why, well, Joe Morgan should be fired. It is absolutely stunning to see him try to chat with people who ask him questions about baseball.

It's almost literally like this, and if you don't believe me, again, go see Fire Joe Morgan right now:

Dan in Kentucky: Joe, what do you think the Indians' chances are this year of winning the A.L. Central?

Joe Morgan: They might be good. I don't know much about them. They might not be as good. The White Sox and Tigers are also teams that play in that division. Things happen in baseball sometimes that determine who wins and who doesn't. Ivan Rodriguez is a good catcher. Catching is not important. Ivan Rodriguez does not play for the Indians.

Steve, Jonesboro AR: Joe, who's the best option for the Orioles as closer if Chris Ray were to suffer an injury?

Joe Morgan: I've always liked having chicken when we barbecue.

Chuck from New Orleans: How well do you think A-Rod will respond to the pressures of another year playing in New York?

Joe Morgan: Jellyfish swim in oceans, and although I haven't researched it, I think they poke people with their claws. Also, paint is good. When I paint my house, I use paint. Sometimes I do not use paint. Paint is the key. Paint is not the key.

That's my attempt at a Joe Morgan impression. Read Fire Joe Morgan for more, better stuff. Absolutely mind-boggling.

I love the game, it's just that I don't know anything about it, other than that my favorite team -- Colorado -- isn't in the playoffs, and that Sidney Crosby might one day be pretty good. And not knowing much about something has never stopped me from offering opinions about it, so as you head to Vegas -- yes, here is the standard E.K. Nation prediction disclaimer -- keep in mind that you should not keep this post in mind. I know nothing. And I will be wrong.

Western Conference 1st Round:
• #8 Calgary will beat #1 Detroit in seven games. #2 Anaheim will sweep #7 Minnesota. #3 Vancouver and #6 Dallas will play five overtime games, with Dallas winning in six. And, our Western Conference winner from back in October, #4 Nashville, will get past #5 San Jose in seven tough games.

Eastern Conference 1st Round:
• Our pre-season pick to win it all, #1 Buffalo, will sweep the #8 Islanders. #2 New Jersey, backed by Martin Brodeur's stellar goalkeeping and aided by #7 Tampa Bay's inability to score goals, will win in five. #3 Atlanta, making its first playoff appearance (if I remember correctly, and maybe I don't), will win Game 7 against the #6 Rangers. And #5 Pittsburgh, despite Sidney Crosby's presence in this sereies, will lose to #4 Ottawa in six.

Western Conference 2nd Round:
• The Ducks will take it to a tired Calgary team, winning in five. And the Predators will handle Dallas in six.

Eastern Conference 2nd Round:
• The Sabres will continue to roll, defeating the Senators in six. And what more can you say about Brodeur? Devils in five over the Thrashers.

Western Conference Finals:
• We're going to stick with Nashville. Dance with the one that brung ya. Predators in seven over the Ducks. Having Peter Forsberg is a boost, even if he's not the player he once was.

Eastern Conference Finals:
• Sticking with Buffalo, even though I recognize Martin Brodeur's great season. Sabres over New Jersey in seven.

STANLEY CUP FINALS:
• Sure, why not stay with Buffalo over Nashville? After all, I know so little that making an adjustment would be just silly. After all, I had Philly beating Nashville in the Finals last year, and it turned out not to be anything remotely close to what happened. Don't over-think. (Looking back on who I picked to be the 16 playoff teams, I actually missed only one playoff team from the West, while missing three from the East, at one point comically deciding Columbus played in that conference, which of course it does not.) Conn Smythe Trophy winner: Let's go with Tomas Vokoun, Nashville's goalie.

It's a lot better to listen to funny stuff being said by Brian Regan than to think about how horrifically craptacular the Giants' season has gone so far. And I'll tell you what, if this keeps up, you guys are going to get awfully familiar with this guy's comedy, and you'll be the better for it. So, here's more Brian Regan, from his album Brian Regan Live.

Also, did anyone see Joaquin Phoenix win the Masters yesterday? Here's a photo to prove it*:

*Ed.: Seems like I wasn't even close to being the only one who saw the Johnson-Phoenix lookalike thing.

Instead of droning on and on about another Giants' loss--with the one highlight being Barry's first home run of the year, number 735 of his career--let's instead enjoy some comedy from one of the masters, Brian Regan, from his DVD called I Walked On The Moon. Cannonball-wound ointment. Spectacular.

Never mind that Opening Day for the Giants was actually the third day of the season. Why, schedule gods, why?

It hurts too much to discuss yesterday's 7-0 Opening Day loss to the Padres, so I'll just offer up instead this column by ESPN's Jim Caple, in which he talks about all the stupid things the Giants did. No place to go but up!

I haven't posted this yet, but it's worth seeing. It's from a few days ago. Yo, Michael Ruffin, when you toss the ball in the air in order to run the clock out, make sure next time that there isn't so much time left on the clock when you do that your opponent can catch the ball and make a seriously ridiculous 3-point shot to tie the game.

Listen up, faithful readers: My amazing streak of correctly predicting the World Series champion stands at a colossal one year in a row. Yes, last year E.K. Nation broke its habit of screwing up all kinds of sports-related predictions and actually got one right; the Cardinals followed through on my pick, taking the Series from the Tigers. So now, you have no choice but to abandon all pre-conceived notions, and actually listen to me this time.

NATIONAL LEAGUE DIVISION CHAMPS:

AMERICAN LEAGUE DIVISION CHAMPS:

WILD CARDS:

NATIONAL LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP:

def.

AMERICAN LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP:

def.

2007 WORLD SERIES:

defeat

That's all I got for ya. Proceed.