Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Happy 40th, Cusack.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
The World Cup Sucks
Every four years we get really interested in soccer.
And so far, what have we seen? A bunch of cheating fucking pansies, that's what.
Thierry Henry, you are a fucking flopping cheater. And referees, you fucking suck for buying into the ridiculous whiny pussy-boy act soccer players put on. The game of soccer is a complete mockery filled with cheaters and stretcher-riding pansy-asses and idiot referees and games decided by the completely ridiculous guessing game of penalty kicks and players on losing sides who have absolutely no idea why they get carded.
No cheaters get to win the World Cup. Fuck you, France. You cheat. You suck. Go Brazil, but by the way, Brazil, don't think for one second that you don't cheat as well. You do, and you will. Fuck soccer cheaters, fuck Maradona, fuck Henry, and fuck you all for turning the World Cup into a sham.
But we haven't really thought about it much.
Here's hoping the next game we watch doesn't turn into a goddamn joke.
And so far, what have we seen? A bunch of cheating fucking pansies, that's what.
Thierry Henry, you are a fucking flopping cheater. And referees, you fucking suck for buying into the ridiculous whiny pussy-boy act soccer players put on. The game of soccer is a complete mockery filled with cheaters and stretcher-riding pansy-asses and idiot referees and games decided by the completely ridiculous guessing game of penalty kicks and players on losing sides who have absolutely no idea why they get carded.
No cheaters get to win the World Cup. Fuck you, France. You cheat. You suck. Go Brazil, but by the way, Brazil, don't think for one second that you don't cheat as well. You do, and you will. Fuck soccer cheaters, fuck Maradona, fuck Henry, and fuck you all for turning the World Cup into a sham.
But we haven't really thought about it much.
Here's hoping the next game we watch doesn't turn into a goddamn joke.
Monday, June 26, 2006
Are They Kidding?
Seriously...are they?
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
The NBA Has Lapped Itself
The NBA has been completely unwatchable for the last few years. But you know, for a while there, we were coming back around.
E.K. Nation is based in Portland, where in the last 16 years the Blazers have had two eras. The first era began in 1990, when the team made its way back to the NBA Finals for the first time in 13 years, was tops in the regular season in 1991 until running into Magic and the Lakers, and then again went back to the Finals in 1992. Things were really looking up for the franchise. It was one of the elite teams in the NBA. "Blazermania", after about a decade, had finally returned to Portland, and the city was proud of its team.
That era ended when, with four seconds left in the third quarter of Game 7 of the 2000 Western Conference Finals, the Lakers' Brian Shaw fired up a three-point shot with the Blazers ahead 71-55.
The second of two Blazers eras since 1990 began when Shaw's three-pointer banked off the glass and into the hoop.
It was uncanny how instantaneously recognizable that moment was. Just moments before, as the clock wound down in third quarter, we remember staring into the bathroom mirror, washing our hands and saying, "We're going to the Finals, baby." But after Shaw's prayer found the bottom of the net, no 13-point lead -- guaranteed -- had ever been so instantly tenuous as the one the Blazers held at that moment.
Yes, the Blazers lost that game. Couldn't shoot a barn with a shotgun if they were standing inside the barn. So on and so forth, and we don't want to re-live this game anymore. And we're also not going to go over all of the crimes and questionable social decisions various Blazers have made in the last few years. There just might not be room enough on the freakin' internet to list them all.
Since that horrific Game 7, the Blazers have accomplished virtually nothing. A two-decades-long playoff-appearances streak came to an end three years ago, and now the team is the worst in the NBA...and with its karma still can't even get the #1 draft pick.
So we haven't had much to enjoy about the game lately, on a favorite-team-success level. But that's just the start of it.
On an entertainment level, it hasn't been all that great either. Let's start with the traveling and double-dribble (palming) violations. There are at least four occurrences of both of the violations on every single possession in every single NBA game ever played, and they are never called. So it's not really the truest form of basketball to begin with.
Yes, we got to watch Michael Jordan and his insane talent in the 1990s. But we also got to see refs favor him. We watched him get every call. If you touched M.J., you were whistled. He invariably made a continuation basket and suddenly the play was worth three points. (If M.J. had the sniffles before a playoff game, the sideline reporters commented on it as though he had just sneezed into the World Trade Center, collapsing it.) And he got all the calls, and it wasn't really basketball after that.
Same for Shaq, more recently. Shaquille O'Neal travels almost every time he gets the ball (duh), pushes people on defense, slams into people when going up for shots, and usually has gotten the benefit of the doubt. Kobe Bryant, for all his skills, never fucking passes. He's a ball hog. He just shoots and shoots and shoots. The 81-point game was a marvel if only because of the number of points he was scoring. In a pick-up game, we'd all be crying, "Yo, Kobe, I'm open!" It's been a one-dimensional game for years now.
This year's playoffs started, though, and something happened. Games became interesting. They seemed to all be close, well-played games. We found ourselves riveted to the TV, if at least for the last half of fourth quarters. And we started to care a little bit about the outcome of the NBA championship.
And the Dwyane Wade thing has completely made the league crash right back down to ground zero. And by "the Dwyane Wade thing" we mean somebody and some team becoming the beneficiary of stupid, ridiculous calls that have a serious effect on the outcome of games.
Yes, Dwyane Wade is a spectacular player and is on his way to becoming an elite star. But for him to thread the needle, not get touched, and get to go to the free-throw line anyway late in a close game in the Finals, and for him to throw an elbow into the gut of Dirk Nowitzki and get to go the free-throw line late in a different close game in the Finals, well, suffice it to say, we're fucking frustrated as all fuck. Josh Howard doesn't call a timeout, but the referees lie when they say he did and call a timeout, when it is obvious that no NBA team would ever call a timeout in the situation it was whistled. We see it starting all over again. A bunch of fucking bullshit NBA shit.
And should the NBA be surprised to see accusations and allegations of fixing games? No, it shouldn't. The Miami Heat has (and yes, it is "has" -- "Heat" is singular) two marketable players (Shaq and Wade) and a classic, respectable, winning coach. The Mavericks have no marketable players and an owner that the league does not want to see holding a championship trophy. Who do you think they'd want to have as champions?
We're not going to accuse anyone of anything. But it's such bullshit. If the outcome NBA Finals games was determined by the players, we'd be more than happy with what went down this year. But Game 5 and Game 6 were quite lame.
And the NBA has lapped itself. It's unwatchable again. But pro basketball was never our favorite sport anyway, so we really don't care. We'll always have the college game.
E.K. Nation is based in Portland, where in the last 16 years the Blazers have had two eras. The first era began in 1990, when the team made its way back to the NBA Finals for the first time in 13 years, was tops in the regular season in 1991 until running into Magic and the Lakers, and then again went back to the Finals in 1992. Things were really looking up for the franchise. It was one of the elite teams in the NBA. "Blazermania", after about a decade, had finally returned to Portland, and the city was proud of its team.
That era ended when, with four seconds left in the third quarter of Game 7 of the 2000 Western Conference Finals, the Lakers' Brian Shaw fired up a three-point shot with the Blazers ahead 71-55.
The second of two Blazers eras since 1990 began when Shaw's three-pointer banked off the glass and into the hoop.
It was uncanny how instantaneously recognizable that moment was. Just moments before, as the clock wound down in third quarter, we remember staring into the bathroom mirror, washing our hands and saying, "We're going to the Finals, baby." But after Shaw's prayer found the bottom of the net, no 13-point lead -- guaranteed -- had ever been so instantly tenuous as the one the Blazers held at that moment.
Yes, the Blazers lost that game. Couldn't shoot a barn with a shotgun if they were standing inside the barn. So on and so forth, and we don't want to re-live this game anymore. And we're also not going to go over all of the crimes and questionable social decisions various Blazers have made in the last few years. There just might not be room enough on the freakin' internet to list them all.
Since that horrific Game 7, the Blazers have accomplished virtually nothing. A two-decades-long playoff-appearances streak came to an end three years ago, and now the team is the worst in the NBA...and with its karma still can't even get the #1 draft pick.
So we haven't had much to enjoy about the game lately, on a favorite-team-success level. But that's just the start of it.
On an entertainment level, it hasn't been all that great either. Let's start with the traveling and double-dribble (palming) violations. There are at least four occurrences of both of the violations on every single possession in every single NBA game ever played, and they are never called. So it's not really the truest form of basketball to begin with.
Yes, we got to watch Michael Jordan and his insane talent in the 1990s. But we also got to see refs favor him. We watched him get every call. If you touched M.J., you were whistled. He invariably made a continuation basket and suddenly the play was worth three points. (If M.J. had the sniffles before a playoff game, the sideline reporters commented on it as though he had just sneezed into the World Trade Center, collapsing it.) And he got all the calls, and it wasn't really basketball after that.
Same for Shaq, more recently. Shaquille O'Neal travels almost every time he gets the ball (duh), pushes people on defense, slams into people when going up for shots, and usually has gotten the benefit of the doubt. Kobe Bryant, for all his skills, never fucking passes. He's a ball hog. He just shoots and shoots and shoots. The 81-point game was a marvel if only because of the number of points he was scoring. In a pick-up game, we'd all be crying, "Yo, Kobe, I'm open!" It's been a one-dimensional game for years now.
This year's playoffs started, though, and something happened. Games became interesting. They seemed to all be close, well-played games. We found ourselves riveted to the TV, if at least for the last half of fourth quarters. And we started to care a little bit about the outcome of the NBA championship.
And the Dwyane Wade thing has completely made the league crash right back down to ground zero. And by "the Dwyane Wade thing" we mean somebody and some team becoming the beneficiary of stupid, ridiculous calls that have a serious effect on the outcome of games.
Yes, Dwyane Wade is a spectacular player and is on his way to becoming an elite star. But for him to thread the needle, not get touched, and get to go to the free-throw line anyway late in a close game in the Finals, and for him to throw an elbow into the gut of Dirk Nowitzki and get to go the free-throw line late in a different close game in the Finals, well, suffice it to say, we're fucking frustrated as all fuck. Josh Howard doesn't call a timeout, but the referees lie when they say he did and call a timeout, when it is obvious that no NBA team would ever call a timeout in the situation it was whistled. We see it starting all over again. A bunch of fucking bullshit NBA shit.
And should the NBA be surprised to see accusations and allegations of fixing games? No, it shouldn't. The Miami Heat has (and yes, it is "has" -- "Heat" is singular) two marketable players (Shaq and Wade) and a classic, respectable, winning coach. The Mavericks have no marketable players and an owner that the league does not want to see holding a championship trophy. Who do you think they'd want to have as champions?
We're not going to accuse anyone of anything. But it's such bullshit. If the outcome NBA Finals games was determined by the players, we'd be more than happy with what went down this year. But Game 5 and Game 6 were quite lame.
And the NBA has lapped itself. It's unwatchable again. But pro basketball was never our favorite sport anyway, so we really don't care. We'll always have the college game.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Was That A Near No-Hitter We Saw?
Less than a month ago, we at E.K. Nation set forth an E.K. Nation Imploration™, telling the Giants pitching staff to throw a no-hitter. Well, on a night when the Carolina Hurricanes brought home the Stanley Cup, another Cane -- well, Cain, actually -- Matt Cain, to be exact, came closer than any Giant has in years to throwing a no-hitter, holding the Los Angeles Angels of Los Angeles, Los Angeles, and Surrounding Areas of Los Angeles hitless until two outs in the eighth inning.
We're starting to feel the power of E.K. Nation. Are you? There hasn't been a no-hitter in over two years. We put forth our Imploration, and within a month, we got close. We're going to press it a little further, repeating our Imploration right here.
Hey Giants pitchers...throw a damn no-hitter! We implore you!
That oughta do it.
Next up, tonight, at Willie Mays Field: Matt Morris, you are on notice.
We're starting to feel the power of E.K. Nation. Are you? There hasn't been a no-hitter in over two years. We put forth our Imploration, and within a month, we got close. We're going to press it a little further, repeating our Imploration right here.
Hey Giants pitchers...throw a damn no-hitter! We implore you!
That oughta do it.
Next up, tonight, at Willie Mays Field: Matt Morris, you are on notice.
Monday, June 19, 2006
PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker
Yes, I registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker that took place yesterday.
And there is nothing like having your computer lose the ability to connect to the internet a mere ten minutes before a poker tournament you registered to play in weeks ago. This wasn't just a matter of refreshing and then getting re-connected. This was the computer saying, "You are indeed connected via your wireless network, but I'm just not going to connect you to anything, anywhere, at any time."
It will be interesting to see -- if I even managed to get my spot at the table without even being able to log on -- how long one can last in a tournament with well over 2,000 players if you do nothing but pay your blinds when they come around. Sonofabitch!
And there is nothing like having your computer lose the ability to connect to the internet a mere ten minutes before a poker tournament you registered to play in weeks ago. This wasn't just a matter of refreshing and then getting re-connected. This was the computer saying, "You are indeed connected via your wireless network, but I'm just not going to connect you to anything, anywhere, at any time."
It will be interesting to see -- if I even managed to get my spot at the table without even being able to log on -- how long one can last in a tournament with well over 2,000 players if you do nothing but pay your blinds when they come around. Sonofabitch!
Random Thoughts
• Ain't it great that the N.L. West is so horrible? You can be a game under .500 and still be just two games out of first place. Way to go Giants!
It looks like Seattle is the place where Barry Bonds gets the kindest reception from fans besides in the Bay Area.
• So Dwyane Wade is rapidly becoming, like, the best NBA player. Is there any doubt that Miami can win the championship if it just gives Wade the ball every time down the floor? The man is taking over. Although we have to say, we didn't spot a foul on that one call late in the game last night. But anyway, the guy is ridiculous.
• It can't be possible for the Americans to advance to the bracket rounds with a win against Ghana, can it? They haven't scored a freakin' goal yet (their goal against Italy was a ridiculous own goal, of course). But if they beat Ghana and Italy beats the Czechs, they're going to advance.
And what's with giving a guy a red card for making a slide tackle? Yo, ref. Did you hear how badly you were being ripped on by Marcelo Balboa on the ABC broadcast? Probably not. You were out of control.
Having said that, there was one red card that was completely earned, when the Italian player elbowed Brian McBride in the eye, spilling Ragu all over his face. Dude, if you break open a guy's grill with a cheap shot, don't complain when you get a red card. Holy crap, dude!
But anyway, congrats to the U.S. team for getting its first-ever World Cup point in a game played on European soil.
• Nothing like Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Amazingly, tonight's game between Carolina and Edmonton will be only the 13th Game 7 in Stanley Cup Finals history. Between 1965 and 1987 there were exactly zero Game 7s. Sheesh. Something's changing, though; tonight will be the fourth Game 7 in five seasons.
It looks like Seattle is the place where Barry Bonds gets the kindest reception from fans besides in the Bay Area.
• So Dwyane Wade is rapidly becoming, like, the best NBA player. Is there any doubt that Miami can win the championship if it just gives Wade the ball every time down the floor? The man is taking over. Although we have to say, we didn't spot a foul on that one call late in the game last night. But anyway, the guy is ridiculous.
• It can't be possible for the Americans to advance to the bracket rounds with a win against Ghana, can it? They haven't scored a freakin' goal yet (their goal against Italy was a ridiculous own goal, of course). But if they beat Ghana and Italy beats the Czechs, they're going to advance.
And what's with giving a guy a red card for making a slide tackle? Yo, ref. Did you hear how badly you were being ripped on by Marcelo Balboa on the ABC broadcast? Probably not. You were out of control.
Having said that, there was one red card that was completely earned, when the Italian player elbowed Brian McBride in the eye, spilling Ragu all over his face. Dude, if you break open a guy's grill with a cheap shot, don't complain when you get a red card. Holy crap, dude!
But anyway, congrats to the U.S. team for getting its first-ever World Cup point in a game played on European soil.
• Nothing like Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Amazingly, tonight's game between Carolina and Edmonton will be only the 13th Game 7 in Stanley Cup Finals history. Between 1965 and 1987 there were exactly zero Game 7s. Sheesh. Something's changing, though; tonight will be the fourth Game 7 in five seasons.
Sunday, June 4, 2006
I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!
This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.
Registration code: 1587035
I would have registered through Jacks Vs. Eights, but that blog isn't two months old yet.
