Thursday, March 9, 2006
Note To All The Bonds-Haters
You will not be ruining my appreciation for the talents of Barry Bonds, and you will not ruin my baseball season. Try as you might, it just isn't going to happen. Got it?
All you talentless hacks who make your living writing about what others accomplish in life, hacks like Scott Miller and Gene Wojciechowski -- and you're welcome for the links -- you're all just jealous. Jealous that Barry Bonds has been able to make his living playing the game of baseball.
Barry Bonds wasn't doing anything illegal, whether he knowingly took steroids or not, and I don't care whether he did or not. He wasn't cheating. Baseball didn't ban any performance-enhancing drugs until 2002.
So he gained weight. So have I. So has everyone I knew in college, save for a couple guys who have dramatically lost weight. We pretty much all gain weight as we get older. Big fucking deal.
In a world where we have a political candidate, in these United States of America, proposing that all homosexuals be killed (we will not give him any free publicity by mentioning his name), in a world where children are put in cages by their parents, in a world where people make "crush videos" -- the sickest, most evil thing I have ever heard of, and I won't mention what they are here either. I can't even write the words, it's so evil -- we're going to get so angry at a baseball player for building up his body using performance-enhancing drugs?
This is the foulest crime we can fight?
Bullshit!
Who says that steroids make you hit home runs? Do they really, now? Do they teach you the patience at the plate that Barry so obviously has? Do they help your eyesight, do they help you determine if it's a fastball or a slider coming at you? Do they help the mechanics of the baseball swing?
Newsflash: Barry Bonds has been hitting tape-measure dongs for the better part of two decades.
If you hack-ass scribes want to get all angry, fine. But do this for me: Keep it to your fuckin' self, all right? I don't give a shit what you think. I love baseball, and I anxiously await the coming of the new season, and I'll be damned if I am going to let your bitterness -- which really stems from the fact that he wouldn't give you any interviews, you whiny fuck -- ruin it.
All you talentless hacks who make your living writing about what others accomplish in life, hacks like Scott Miller and Gene Wojciechowski -- and you're welcome for the links -- you're all just jealous. Jealous that Barry Bonds has been able to make his living playing the game of baseball.
Barry Bonds wasn't doing anything illegal, whether he knowingly took steroids or not, and I don't care whether he did or not. He wasn't cheating. Baseball didn't ban any performance-enhancing drugs until 2002.
So he gained weight. So have I. So has everyone I knew in college, save for a couple guys who have dramatically lost weight. We pretty much all gain weight as we get older. Big fucking deal.
In a world where we have a political candidate, in these United States of America, proposing that all homosexuals be killed (we will not give him any free publicity by mentioning his name), in a world where children are put in cages by their parents, in a world where people make "crush videos" -- the sickest, most evil thing I have ever heard of, and I won't mention what they are here either. I can't even write the words, it's so evil -- we're going to get so angry at a baseball player for building up his body using performance-enhancing drugs?
This is the foulest crime we can fight?
Bullshit!
Who says that steroids make you hit home runs? Do they really, now? Do they teach you the patience at the plate that Barry so obviously has? Do they help your eyesight, do they help you determine if it's a fastball or a slider coming at you? Do they help the mechanics of the baseball swing?
Newsflash: Barry Bonds has been hitting tape-measure dongs for the better part of two decades.
If you hack-ass scribes want to get all angry, fine. But do this for me: Keep it to your fuckin' self, all right? I don't give a shit what you think. I love baseball, and I anxiously await the coming of the new season, and I'll be damned if I am going to let your bitterness -- which really stems from the fact that he wouldn't give you any interviews, you whiny fuck -- ruin it.
THE TRUTH? THE TRUTH IS THAT I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
