Tuesday, August 2, 2005
File This One Under 'O' For "OOPS!"
Good morning, Mr. Chairman and Members of the Committee. My name is Rafael Palmeiro and I am a professional baseball player. I'll be brief in my remarks today. Let me start by telling you this: I have never used steroids. Period. I don't know how to say it any more clearly than that. Never. The reference to me in Mr. Canseco's book is absolutely false.Yeah. Ummm....oops.
We heard some people talking at The Stockpot about how players who get busted for steroid use should have all of their stats completely expunged from the records of baseball. And to that we say, "You're a fucking moron." Not only that, but we have said before and we will say it again: We have found it very hard to care about steroids use and steroid busts. So there's no need to expunge anything. Besides, if Palmeiro (or whoever) has his home runs removed, does that mean that we go back and delete all the home runs given up to Palmeiro by all those pitchers, thus lowering the ERAs, and so forth? Do they not get credit for striking Palmeiro out anymore? It's a stupid fucking suggestion, and anyone who says it is a dumbass.
• What's This? A Blurb About Hockey? When's The Last Time That Happened?: Adam Foote, formerly of the beloved Colorado Avalanche, is now with some team that plays in Columbus, Ohio. We guess it is an NHL team. Anyway, it feels good to actually be talking about hockey.
