E.K. NATION

How, oh how, are the Blazers going to mess things up today? With the #3 pick in this year's draft, Chris Paul is a huge possibility. To be available. And not to be drafted by the Blazers. Why would the Blazers draft a guy like Chris Paul, when there is a bunch of prima donna high-schoolers who will have almost zero impact to choose from?

Back in the day, some two decades ago, the Blazers often knew how to draft players. I stress often. Not always. I certainly am not counting 1984, when, at the ripe old age of 12, I expressed an amount of incredulity Red Auerbach would have been proud of, at the Blazers' not selecting Michael Jordan and instead taking Sam Bowie. Now, I don't think anybody figured Jordan would become the greatest player in NBA history, but it didn't take a Mensa member to figure out that drafting a guy who had broken his leg and missed two college seasons over a solid young proven winner wasn't particularly a strong move.

But there was a four-year stretch in which we drafted Clyde Drexler--and I suppose we decided to pay the Bulls back the next year with the Bowie favor, since the Bulls selection just prior to ours was none other than Ennis Whatley, who just missed being named to The 50 Greatest Players in NBA history--Terry Porter, and a very young Arvydas Sabonis. Not to mention the in-some-circles college player of the year Walter Berry, who didn't pan out but at least you couldn't fault us for picking him.

But look at all the first-round picks since then, starting in 1987: Ronnie Murphy. Mark Bryant, Byron Irvin. Alaa Abdelnaby. David Johnson. James Robinson. Aaron McKie. Shawn Respert. Jermaine O'Neal. Chris Anstey. Erick Barkley. Zach Randolph. Qyntel Woods. Travis Outlaw. Sebastian Telfair. Sergei Monia. Jesus Christ. (No, the Blazers brass didn't call out his name on Draft Day ever, but Blazer fans sure have. Over, and over, and over.)

O'Neal turned out to be a good pick. Yeah, once we traded the guy. And Randolph has been all right. Everybody else has been for all intents and purposes, a bust. Definitely not first-round quality.

And these high-schooler/juco players we dig up. Outlaw, who's barely seen any action in two seasons. Telfair, who simply came out of the New York hype machine and whom the verdict is still out on. Woods, who used drugs and abused animals. Woods, who managed to be picked over local favorite Dan Dickau, who, while not tearing up the league himself, would have sparked much more interest in the team. And which he proved to do for about a half-season after we traded for him.

We're gonna go with another high-schooler, whether we use the #3 pick on Gerald Green or trade down for some reason and take somebody named Webster with the #6. And how we even know these kids' names is beyond me. Green said he didn't want to work out with any pros. What the fuck, dude?

Somehow, I just know it's gonna happen. And Blazer fans are going to sit there with their jaws on the floor, going "They fucked up again? They had the three pick and still managed to fuck up! Gimme another fuckin' Flaming D.P.!"

I am so prepared for the disappointment of Draft Day 2005.