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Friday, October 31, 2003

I was 11-3 last week, making me 41-25 for the year. So what?? So let's dance!!
Indianapolis over Miami
New Orleans over Tampa Bay
Houston over Carolina
Oakland over Detroit
N.Y. Giants over N.Y. Jets
Baltimore over Jacksonville
Chicago over San Diego
Seattle over Pittsburgh
St. Louis over San Francisco
Cincinnati over Arizona
Washington over Dallas
Minnesota over Green Bay
Philadelphia over Atlanta
And...Get The Score Exactly Right On Monday Night Football:
36 21

Thursday, October 30, 2003

Revised Association Predictions 

The Portland Trail Blazers' playoff spot is hereby rescinded from E.K.'s 2003-04 Association Rundown. Forget it, Blazers. It's over. You lost to Utah. You're done. It's over. You suck. Congratulations Houston.
THE REVISED VARSITY PLAYOFF TEAMS:

Barry Bonds has won his eleventh Silver Slugger Award (rundown).


Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Sick Of The Hype 

Lebron James is going to be a bust. While Lebron is coughing up turnovers and missing 14 of 20 shots a night, Carmelo Anthony will coolly, calmly, undetectedly drop 20 points a night and lead Denver to...well...25 wins. Anthony, not James, is going to win Rookie of the Year.

Can't wait to watch "King" James dribble all over himself tonight as he contributes to a shellacking of the Cavs by the real Kings (the Sacramento variety).

Oh, and the Jail Blazers will lose to Utah tonight. Somehow they will find a way. I've been a Blazer fan way too long to think any different.

Quick Note To Association Referees 

TWO STEPS WITHOUT DRIBBLING IS TRAVELING. You're welcome for the reminder. I know over the off-season it might be easy to forget, but there it is. Call it.

New Uniforms In The Association 

Several teams have made changes to their gear. How do the old and new compare? Let's go alphabetical. (I stole the pictures from ESPN.com. They are nice and even-sized, unlike the ones I had found yesterday, causing me to ditch the idea.)
CLEVELAND CAVALIERS...

From this... to this...

It's a return to the classic wine-and-gold digs the Cavs had before. A nice touch. Looks much better. The old ones were just boring.

DENVER NUGGETS...

From this... to this...

Nahhh, dude. You look like the UCLA Bruins now. That's a college team. You wanna play like a college team? Well, you're gonna.

HOUSTON ROCKETS...

From this... to this...

The new look Rockets are sporting the best uniforms this organization has ever had. The pinstriped, cartoonish jerseys of the last few years were just garish, and the old NBA Finals-style pain red and white with gold trim togs were horrendously boring. These are nicely slightly-retro.

ORLANDO MAGIC...

From this... to this...

Pretty much no change here, although now they look more like the Hornets. At least the pinstripes are gone for good.


#33 

The greatest goaltender in the history of hockey saw his jersey number retired last night in Denver, and here is what he had to say. The Avs then went on to defeat the Flames 4-2, helped by a goal from Jim Cummins. It is a testament to my hockey knowledge that I had no idea who this guy was. Checking his career statistics, I see that Colorado is his ninth team in twelve seasons. There isn't even a picture of him on his ESPN stat page, for Chrissakes. So, here is a picture of him so that we can know what he looks like:

Ahem. Or not.

Articles on Patrick Roy: From Terry Frei on Roy's retirement and future, and Darren Pang on Roy's legacy.

E.K. Sports Nation Is Growing: Lock up your daughters. AaronGleeman.com, in E.K. Sports' opinion one of the premier blogs, features links to other blogs. They are divided into separate levels, starting with the Best of the Best, mostly the pros and the reference sites; then there are the Hall of Fame Blogs, to which I have linked a few; the All-Stars, the Everyday Players, the Pinch-Hitters...and then look look look, E.K. Sports is...Down On The Farm. Well, at least I inked my minor league deal. I wonder if he moves bloggers up and down with regularity.


Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Monologue joke from last night's Late Show with David Letterman, regarding Game 6 of the World Series:
The New York Yankees had only five hits the entire game. Five hits! And I'm thinking, well, hell, David Gest got twice that many hits from Liza!
Monologue joke from last night's Tonight Show With Jay Leno, regarding Game 6 of the World Series:
The Yankees lost 2-0. They only got five hits. See, that's bad, when Liza Minnelli's getting more hits in than you are.
This kind of thing happens often.

This Kobe-Shaq Tiff... 

...isn't really a tiff at all. They're not pissed at each other. They just want to distract you from the rape trial. That's all.

E.K.'s 2003-04 Association Rundown 

VARSITY:
THE DIVISION CHAMPIONS:

THE PLAYOFF TEAMS:

VARSITY FINALS:

over

JUNIOR VARSITY:

THE DIVISION CHAMPIONS:

THE PLAYOFF TEAMS:

JUNIOR VARSITY FINALS:

over

2004 NBA FINALS:

over


Monday, October 27, 2003

A World Series Prediction Experiment 

No need to wait for spring. On this, the first Monday after the end of the World Series, I will make my selections for the 2004 World Series teams. Let's see how easy this can be. First, we must determine, by reasonable guesses, who the playoff teams will be. Here is my prediction:

The 2004 division champions: In the American League, the division champions will be the New York Yankees, Minnesota Twins and Seattle Mariners. In the National League, the division champions will be the Atlanta Braves, Houston Astros and Arizona Diamondbacks.

The 2004 wild card teams: The American League wild-card team will be the Toronto Blue Jays, and rising again out of the N.L. wild card heap will be the Forida Marlins.

Now, that's the hard part. The easy part is to write these eight teams' names down on pieces of paper, crumple them up, place them into a hat, and make the selection for the World Series that way. The playoffs, as we know, are a crapshoot and have little if any resemblance to successes attained during the regular season. After all, the Cubs beat the Braves, and the Marlins managed to beat the Giants and later the Yankees. The Red Sox even won a playoff series.

Crumpling.....

...and into the hat they go. For the record, it is a navy blue North Carolina Tar Heels hat with a light-blue "NC" logo on it. It has no connections whatsoever to any Major League Baseball organization.

First, the American League. I have randomly selected from the hat...

...a team's name. Now, I will select the National League's winner...

Okay. I have selected from the hat the names of the two teams that will face off in the 2004 World Series.

The teams that will play each other in the 2004 World Series are...

The Minnesota Twins and the Arizona Diamondbacks.

Okay, back into the hat you go, to see who will win.

I have selected the Minnesota Twins. So, there you have it, the first prediction for the 2004 World Series that you saw, and remember that you saw it at E.K. Sports. The Twins will defeat the Diamondbacks in the 2004 World Series. See you in October!

What The F*dge???!!!??? 

Hey 49ers! There's a reason I didn't change the color scheme to red and gold here at E.K. Sports. You do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps, that's why, you pieces of crap. What the hell is this losing-to-Arizona crap all about?



TOO MUCH FORTY-NINER SCREW-UPPAGE HURTS THE BABY JESUS

I hate being a Bay Area fan. Why the hell did I wind up as such? I'm from Portland, for smash sakes. There's only so long I will take getting screwed. Piece-of-crap Owen Pochman, who has missed five field goals in two weeks, puts the overtime kickoff out of bounds??? FUCK YOU, Pochman! You're fired. Get out of here. We're getting a new kicker for next week.


Great Josh Almighty! 

A five-hit shutout by Josh Beckett, a slide of guile by Alex Gonzalez, and basically a complete meltdown by the Yankees. That's all it took for the Florida Marlins to be crowned World Series champions of 2003.

No need to say anything more. We have now entered the worse half of any given year, the half which doesn't have any baseball being played. I'm sad that I have to wait until spring. Go Giants, god dammit! I probably won't be posting here as often as I have been, at least until March or so. No sport is worth talking about nearly as much as baseball. I suppose the NCAA tournament will have me writing and writing. I'd talk about hockey but I must admit I don't know nearly as much as Darren Pang or Barry Melrose, and "Yay! The Avalanche won!" doesn't make for interesting reading. But I will pop in, if anyone cares. If you don't, don't worry. I do this for me.


Saturday, October 25, 2003

NFL Specials, Week 8 

I was 5-9 last week, making me 30-22 for the year. What's wrong with lumber? I own two lumberyards. (Why I continue to finish a recap of my season record each week with a quote from Caddyshack, I don't exactly know.
N.Y. Giants over Minnesota
New England over Cleveland
New Orleans over Carolina
Tampa Bay over Dallas
Tennessee over Jacksonville
Baltimore over Denver
Chicago over Detroit
Cincinnati over Seattle
St. Louis over Pittsburgh
San Francisco over Arizona
Indianapolis over Houston
Philadelphia over N.Y. Jets
Buffalo over Kansas City
And...Get The Score Exactly Right On Monday Night Football:
9 3

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