E.K. NATION

During the baseball off-season this may not be much of a coherent, focused blog. I may talk about sports, the Avalanche, the NCAAs, the NFL, what have you. But without the Giants doing anything, I'm, probably not going to be as active sportstalk-wise. So I have some non-sports-related rants to go off on.

Widescreen vs. Full Screen: When it started about seven years ago, the DVD industry, I thought, was going to change the way people watch movies. A much better picture, no decline in quality through repeated viewings—you’d have to scratch the disk before it lost any quality—and, best of all, I thought it would finally introduce the concept of letterboxing, or widescreen, to the average moviegoer.

True enough, for several years, it was difficult to find a DVD that did not have the widescreen presentation on it. You could just walk into the store, find the title you wanted, grab it, take it home, and assume that the letterbox version would pop up on your screen.

Not anymore. The pan-and-scan people have pushed the industry back into the Dark Ages. Now, you have to actually search for DVDs with the widescreen presentation on them. But that’s not the problem.

The problem is, why do people still insist on watching the full-frame versions of movies?

Is it that these people just need to see their TV screen filled up completely? Are they bothered by the black borders at the top and bottom of the screen? If that is the case, why aren’t they bothered by the top and bottom edges of movie screens?

Do they think these borders are actually covering up the top and bottom of the movie image, thereby obscuring half of what’s visually available in the film? Worse yet: Do they think their TVs are actually broken when the letterbox version comes on?

I recently saw a big display case with stacks of The Matrix: Reloaded DVDs at Circuit City. And yep, most of them were full-frame editions. Why would anyone want to see a version of The Matrix with half of the frame completely chopped off? Wouldn’t you want to see the complete image as the directors intended? Why would you want to miss half the movie with the fullscreen version?

I don’t get it.

Another thing I don’t get? People who still buy/rent videotapes. Have you just decided not to move forward in life? Videotapes are fine for recording shows at home. But for movies? Can’t you find out what the DVD thing is all about?

Kate Faber: Recognize this name? You should. She’s the accuser in the Kobe Bryant rape trial. Why her name has not been publicized more is a mystery. I’ve always been told that rape is a crime of violence and is never the woman’s fault. If that’s the case, she should feel no shame.

As of right now, the biggest victim in this case, until (and if) Kobe Bryant is found guilty in a court of law, is Kobe Bryant himself. Why is it that we have no trouble in this society proclaiming that a man accused of rape is guilty before the trial even starts? Bryant's name is being trashed. And if he is found not guilty, he'll still be proclaimed guilty in the eyes of certain people. And I'm guessing Kate Faber's name will disappear in a cloud of whatever Patricia Bowman left behind. Or maybe behind that blue dot.

Cell Phones: Okay, okay, there was a time when only the richest of the rich had phones they carried around with them. And maybe people felt that they were showing off. But now, everyone has one (except my parents). They’re needed, if only as handy trouble-shooters in roadside emergencies.

Who out there still gets mad at people who talk on their cell phones in public places? Is it any different from talking to a person sitting next to you in the flesh?

Children’s Names: Simply put, if I see one more little boy with a name like Braden or Connor or Kolton or Laken or Logan or Matson or Reilly, I will have to throw up. Also, if you name your child Zachary, spell it that way. Do not spell it Zackery. If you do, I will think you are stupid. I truly believe that a certain famous athlete’s name was supposed to be Anthony Hardaway but his mom just had no idea how to spell it.

The egregious girls’ names that fall into the same category of puke-inducing monikers include Madison, Parker, Taylor, and Hunter, and the 1-2 punch of McKenzie and McKenna, sometimes seen as Mackenna or Makena. What, pray tell, is up with this?

Coffee: Coffee is simply a beverage made from beans. It is NOT worth talking about 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The $4 you spend on lattes every day, out of all the minor daily expenses people incur, is the single worst waste of money on the planet. Also, lattes have as much fat as a Big Mac. Just so you know.

If you work at a Starbucks, you are not a barista. You are the person behind the counter. And what is this short and tall shit anyway? They are small and large, you Stipe-ian twit.

Carmen Electra, Pam Anderson and Denise Richards: Come on, now. Are there really guys out there who think these are the hottest chicks on the planet? Is that really the best we have to offer? What is this, 1995? You guys can’t come up with anyone hotter? We here at E.K. Sports prefer our women to not look like they were made at the Mattel plant. Consult E.K. Sports Hot Girl Hall Of Fame for those truly deserving of attention (more names and pics to come in the future).