Thursday, October 9, 2003
The Epidemic Of Fan Interference (Maier-Itis)
Being against the death penalty, I am flummoxed as to what the adequate punishment should be for a fan at a baseball game who reaches into the field of play and interferes with a live ball.
Time and time again we see people reaching into the field of play to try to grab a fair ball rolling down the foul line, or beyond the fence to grab a possible fly ball out and make it a home run, or even over the wall to pound an outfielder, say, by the name of Reggie Sanders, with your idiotic ThunderStix or DisneyTwigs or whetever the hell you call those apostasies unto whichever lords there may be in this universe.
Maybe you people who continue to do this should be caned at the hands of Tony Tarasco.
While I am in principle giving any publicity to people who do not deserve it, I do believe that the names of people who do this should be expressed, so that everyone knows who the idiot is. In this case it is an 18-year-old apparently named Josh Mandlebaum, who saw a fly ball heading his way in the upper deck and, figuring he should somehow involve himself in the action because there was a chance it could go fair and he could Jeffrey-Maier himself into the spotlight, he reached out and tried to interfere with it. Nice going, Yankee fan: If there were any doubt as to whether the ball were going to hit the foul pole, you erased it all, because it bounced off your hand and did indeed hit the pole, for all I and the rest of the Fox audience could see, costing your team a sure run which had been for a moment, in doubt, because one of the umpires had signaled foul ball immediately.
There is justice in the world. Neither Mandlebaum nor Maier, nor Hillel for that matter, or Kato Kaelin, wound up in possession of the baseballs in question. (Somebody get on the horn and find out if Charlie Sheen has one of them yet.)
Oh, and by the way, amidst all the fuss and feather, the Red Sox took Game 1 by a 5-2 score. And thanks to the Fox Network braintrust's alert decision to put both of last night's games on television at the same time, I have nothing to say about the Cubs-Marlins' Game 2, except to say somebody check everyone's bats for cork this time. Approximately 1,459 extra-base hits have been tallied in the first two games. The teams now head to Miami deadlocked at a game apiece.
Time and time again we see people reaching into the field of play to try to grab a fair ball rolling down the foul line, or beyond the fence to grab a possible fly ball out and make it a home run, or even over the wall to pound an outfielder, say, by the name of Reggie Sanders, with your idiotic ThunderStix or DisneyTwigs or whetever the hell you call those apostasies unto whichever lords there may be in this universe.
Maybe you people who continue to do this should be caned at the hands of Tony Tarasco.
While I am in principle giving any publicity to people who do not deserve it, I do believe that the names of people who do this should be expressed, so that everyone knows who the idiot is. In this case it is an 18-year-old apparently named Josh Mandlebaum, who saw a fly ball heading his way in the upper deck and, figuring he should somehow involve himself in the action because there was a chance it could go fair and he could Jeffrey-Maier himself into the spotlight, he reached out and tried to interfere with it. Nice going, Yankee fan: If there were any doubt as to whether the ball were going to hit the foul pole, you erased it all, because it bounced off your hand and did indeed hit the pole, for all I and the rest of the Fox audience could see, costing your team a sure run which had been for a moment, in doubt, because one of the umpires had signaled foul ball immediately.
"I just want to enjoy the game," Mandelbaum said as reporters rushed down to his front-row seat.No, Mandlebaum. You did not want to just "enjoy the game." You wanted to get involved, just like any idiot sitting within four rows of the playing field. And as if one lie wasn't enough,
But before leaving his seat, Mandelbaum said he was only protecting himself when he reached for the ball, though replays showed it would not have hit him.Interesting, Josh-o, that you would attempt to protect yourself from the ball by reaching in front of the foul pole expressly so that you could get hit by it. And don't even get me started on your front-row buddy Ed Hillel, who, as the Fox broadcasting team sarcastically pointed out, must surely be the most objective Yankee fan ever. He claimed, via a live interview from the upper tank with reporter Kenny Albert, that the ball was totally foul when Mandlebaum got involved. Never mind that the replay showed Hillel on the opposite side of the pole from Mandlebaum and the ball.
There is justice in the world. Neither Mandlebaum nor Maier, nor Hillel for that matter, or Kato Kaelin, wound up in possession of the baseballs in question. (Somebody get on the horn and find out if Charlie Sheen has one of them yet.)
Oh, and by the way, amidst all the fuss and feather, the Red Sox took Game 1 by a 5-2 score. And thanks to the Fox Network braintrust's alert decision to put both of last night's games on television at the same time, I have nothing to say about the Cubs-Marlins' Game 2, except to say somebody check everyone's bats for cork this time. Approximately 1,459 extra-base hits have been tallied in the first two games. The teams now head to Miami deadlocked at a game apiece.
